Resistance is Futile

So it's 2008 and I'm without my favorite kitty in the world and now I'm jobless to boot.
Max dying at the close of 2007 was supposed to be the ending... of what I'm not entirely sure. I told myself Max was teaching me how to let go and move on. I decided I should let go of trying to make my company treat employees fairly, pay appropriately, provide adequate support for employees to properly do the job outlined you know, basics. I had deemed that it was just about time to amp up my search for alternate employment. Two weeks later I am jobless. Ah, be careful what you wish for.

I've become quite the house keeper this week. It is not becoming of me. Suzie Homemaker I am not. However last night's sushi experiment was quite successful.( see photo) Sushi is less home economics and more art if you ask me. That's why it went so well. If baking had been involved in my experiments yesterday I'd of been screwed. I can decorate the cake, but getting the cake from powders and liquids to solid edible food is a whole different story. It's my inability to stick to strict guidelines. I want to open the door and look at it. I want to eyeball my measurements, it's the artist in me. I realize the paradox, the conundrum if you will that is implied when you reference my earlier statements about my frustration in other people's inability to follow my directions, however, you see, the need to listen to and follow directions applies to everyone else. I of course am exempt. Why you may ask? What makes me so special as to not need instructions? Well, I didn't say I don't need them. I fully realize that by not following a recipe I will always ruin my attempts at baking. I don't care and therein lies the difference. I am not going to call a 1800 number for customer support and yell and scream at some anonymous person because I did not follow directions. I am probably going to laugh at myself and apply mass quantities of icing to cover up any sunken in spots and make it look really pretty to cover my imperfections.
Is that the right way? No, absolutely not. The right thing to do would be to either follow the stupid recipe or hire someone to bake the friggin cake!
For now I will continue to bake flat in the middle cakes and decorate them beautifully. I will post my resume daily, I will search for a new job and I will as I wrote in a poem once :

" ... Paint pictures of beauty that I know nothing of,
And await for the inevitable day
That the sunset in the sky
and the sunset in my mind
Finally make peace on behalf of love. "