No More Empty Fortune Cookies!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

What a ride

What a ride life can be, eh? I mean, one minute you're coasting along, all's right with the world, and in an instant everything can change.
One of my best friends ever since around the 8th grade is sitting by her daughter's side at in the ICU, while her daughter's father is down the hall in another room, and his fiance' is laying in the morgue.
Why? Why do these things happen?
I talked to the daddy yesterday, who I have also maintained a friendship with for nearly 20 years, and he has the survivor's guilt thing happening pretty badly. He is grieving the loss of the love of his life, wondering how he will ever get along without her, worried about the astronomical hospital bills that are sure to come for his daughter and him, and most of all concerned about his daughter's future. Next to the family dog and his fiance', neither of which survived, the daughter is who suffered the most injuries. Head on collisions are not known for their delicate nature, and this one certainly was nothing if not violent.
There they are, riding in the slow lane of a 6 lane highway, when some kid coming around a curve veers straight at them. No time to react. No time to say goodbyes.
I don't know how I would handle the situation, were I in his place, in my friend, the daughter's mother's place. I honestly don't.
It is a comfort to them now, that mom and dad have been able to maintain a true friendship since their divorce. One needs all the friends they can find at times like these.
I keep thinking about the daughter...16 years old, laying in the ICU, broken pelvis and now missing her spleen, a good portion of her small intestines, and several inches of her large intestines. And finding out her dog and her step-mom are no longer here.
I keep thinking about all the photos my friend sends me of this daughter playing basketball, volleyball, cheerleading...How deeply will the rest of her life be impacted by this split second incident.
What a ride life can be.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Forward Momentum

Seems like every time I promise to keep up with this blog more regularly, the further behind I get on actually blogging.
It's been difficult to make myself sit in front of the screen long enough to construct a full and concise thought, much less to actually take the time to blog about it.
I guess it's the stress, but it seems like my eyes get so tired so fast. I hate that. I've actually resorted to "reading" via audio books. I feel like that's cheating, but my eyes just go blurry and my vision gets all double and jumpy when I try to read. Even large print.
I suppose I should just be grateful for the free audio book player that the center for the blind sent to me, and all the free audio books from the library of congress. And I am. Really, I am. But honestly, I think they could have kept this stupid white cane a little bit longer. At least it is getting some use, though. It's great for pulling things down from the top shelf.
All's not doom and gloom, though. I have found inspiration in my vision loss and created some visual impairment awareness tshirts, of which I am donating $1 of each sale to The Foundation Fighting Blindness. If you aren't aware of them and the work they do, I implore you to swing by their site and check them out. And if you have a few dollars to throw at them, please do. Among many other things they do to help the visually impaired and blind folks of this planet, they work to fund research to help find a cure for currently incurable diseases like mine.
I've also picked up some more leads on some web design work, small jobs, maintenance mostly, but it's something.
On another good note, The Wifester and I joined a social group here in Cleveland that is comprised of committed gay/lesbian couples who get together monthly for outings, dinners, crafts, etc. We met up today at one of Lake Erie's beaches, just west of Cleveland. It was a wonderful day, sun shine, cool breeze blowing off the lake, and LOTS of really nice people to mingle with. We took the dogs with us because we knew they would be great conversation starters, and they were. I laughed because we fit the stereotype...lesbians with big dogs, and the gay men with their little, tiny dogs. Why is that?
I met another lesbian who is losing her sight, though her's is due to macular degeneration while mine is a retinal degeneration. Her central vision is gone, so she only sees some of the periphery, where as I have decent central vision, and no peripheral. We joked that maybe if we combined our eyes we may get a decent pair out of the deal. I think it is important to find humor in this. Keep pushing forward, one foot in front of the other...even if I have to look down to see where to plant each step. What else can I do?