No More Empty Fortune Cookies!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Requiem for My Family

I have written a few times about my family and their affiliation with what I can only define as a cult. I am dispirited over the realization that my mother doesn't even know her own birthday anymore. Nor her wedding anniversary. It means little or nothing to her now because all she needs, she says, is her church fellowship and the love of the lord. I was hoping to spend some time with her for her birthday last year, her first birthday after our reunion. If you haven't read about us before, my family and I were separated for 6 years. No contact at all. We didn't even speak to each other in all of that time. No letters, no messages via other family members. Nothing. Then, through a dying aunt, we reunited. It's been a bumpy road, for sure, but, no one expected any less. I assumed last year when she seemed surprised that it was her birthday and quickly said, "well, that's church night, we can't get together with you that night" , that it was more a matter of her trying to avoid my sweetie and I. My parents are still not comfortable with me having a wife and a dog instead of a husband and 2.5 children. Since then, however, we've made baby steps in that area, but it's still an issue that is ignored or tolerated at best. This time, her birthday is approaching again and she's been asking and asking to get together sometime over the past couple of months. I extend the offer for a birthday gathering, and what do you know... she didn't realize it was her birthday weekend, again! What's more, they have plans with the church, and that is more important, even though they haven't seen me since Christmas, and they do church stuff every friggin' day of the week. When I asked how my nieces are, my mother replied, "I guess they're fine, I don't really know, we haven't seen them in a while. They have soccer, we have church." That's so sad to me. My mother used to watch these girls after school, so something has changed, and since I don't talk to my brother, I have no way of knowing. My parents have separated themselves from the family. They no longer attend the rest of the family's holiday gatherings. I don't know if they aren't invited or just don't go. My aunt says one thing, my parents say another. Who knows, who cares. the point is, the people that I used to know as Mom and Dad are gone. No traces of them remain. My mother, a Mexican woman, whose whole family speaks fluent Spanish, and who used to speak in Spanish when she didn't want me to know what she was saying, now says she can't speak to her gardener, because he only speaks Spanish. My mother says she doesn't understand him. I communicate with him better than she does, my pathetic Spanish is much better than hers at this point, and it's her first language. I wonder if her lord doesn't approve of speaking in Spanish? Maybe that's why she had to forget how. I thought language was like riding a bike, once you learn, you don't forget.
I am still bewildered and perplexed as to how a brilliant engineer and an aspiring accountant could become lemmings in such a mindless, oppressive, don't think for yourself-we'll think for you- but be sure to give us lots of money!- type of operation in the guise of a "church".
Today, I sing a requiem for my family.

7 cookies cracked:

Jay said...

Man that is really sad. It's amazing to me how many people get sucked into these types of cults and let them taek over their lives for them. Of course, I guess all organized religions try to take over people's lives. That's part of what I can't stand about them.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

Aiee! What a sad sad story! Wahn.

My parents are dead, but they died still loving me. So that's something.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

Jay's really got it nailed.

Fortune Cookies said...

Jay- Bingo! I used to think that the people who got suckered into these situations were of, lets say...less than average intelligence, with a poor foundation in this world to begin with. My folks proved that theory wrong. I think all organized religion is just a great farce for political gain anyways.

Mary - I think they still love me, as best they can, they just dont know or understand that it's ok to live your life to be happy rather than to serve a greedy minister. That is the saddest part of it all.

Real Live Lesbian said...

I am so sorry that you've lost them.

I lost a cousin to one. Her mother has seen none of her grandchilden. Apparently my aunt and uncle are unclean or something bizarre like that.

I tell her to keep hoping. You just never know what'll happen when they're all teenagers! But old folks...I'm not sure they'll ever rebel against it.

What a shame.

Fortune Cookies said...

RLL - thanks. Sorry to hear about your cousin. I don't know which is more tragic, them to be lost, or that these people are preying upon them for their "fellowship". Sigh.

I promise next post will be much more cheerful yall! We've got a fun weekend in store. I should have some photos to share too :)

g-man said...

That's messed up. Sad indeed that they are lost and not lost all at the same time.

Searching for something meaningful to say, and drawing a blank.