No More Empty Fortune Cookies!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Yapping, Bitching, and ...Hot Meat?

A few things that I just don't get.

1. I have a coworker who talks incessantly on her cell phone, taking personal calls during the day. My boss has had numerous meetings with our team, in which she has said to us "The next time I catch anyone using their cell phones for personal use, you're fired! Consider this your warning"
The next day, she'll be sitting at her desk, yapping away about "Oh no she didn't! Well, I said.." ..."and then he said..."
Yeah, it's like a 14 year old girl is sitting across from me.
I have a few issues with this situation.
A. It's totally disrespectful to your employer, especially after they have provided you with warnings.
B. It's extremely disrespectful to coworkers around you to be subject to listen to your conversations while they are on their phones actually conducting business.
C. Even more rude, it becomes, when those conversations last so long that fellow employees , namely ME, are being delegated this employee's share of work, because she is behind.
Now, I'm not normally one to be quite so vocal, but this has gone to a level of absolute absurdity. The other day the phone call was over an hour and a half long. AN HOUR and a HALF.
I don't get how someone would think that it is OK to behave in this manner at WORK, that is, unless you were the owner of your company.

Next on my rant-agenda

2. Dyke-Drama. I just don't get it. Oh, I've seen it, I've participated in enough of my own, in my day, and quite honestly, I'm quite penitent about all of that.
But I believe that a big portion of it stemmed from my having been a drug addicted, wasted youth. Immature, irrational, and high. The dyke-drama that I continue to see flare up from time to time today (not in my own life or relationship, but in the circumference, with friends, acquaintances, is usually of little or no consequence and has no real bearing on anyone's quality of life, mental, physical, or financial stability. So what gives? What's the point? I suppose some people simply enjoy stirring the pot every chance they can get. Not me. I like to let things simmer down and keep it at a nice mild temperature. Always trying to keep it smooth and moderate. Amicable for all. I'm a diplomat like that.

And finally...

3. Why am I just now finding out that the cooking guide on my George Foreman grill has me WAAAAAAAY overcooking my food? Wifester and I finally bought a meat thermometer, and the heavens parted and I do believe I heard trumpets.
Prior to meeting her, I'd been on a tofu kick for a while, and when not eating tofu, my chicken was boiled to the point of falling apart in shreds (see enchilada recipe) Otherwise, it was veggies, veggies, and carry-out. Oh, don't give me that...it's hard to cook for just one. Anyways, new meat thermometer, since Wifester is a Grill-Master and every grill Master needs a meat thermometer, we found her one. Since it resides in my kitchen, I incorporated the use of it on all my meats, and wow! No more crispy dried out chicken breasts on Mr. Foreman's Grill! Someone should really tell him to adjust his guide! We made salmon on it prior to the thermometer, and went by the guide, it was so chewy and tough. So this time, I used the thermometer ....mmmmmmm! Flakey juicy perfectly grilled salmon. Now if I could just get the Wifester to actually grill the salmon on her grill-de-la grill...But that's a whole other gripe for a whole other day.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

After work dates

Before I tell you about my after work date, I have a new post over at Fortune Cookies Cooks! , go check it out too. Sorry, no George Foreman Grill or Tofu used in this one. Maybe next time.


Now, about my date...

Yesterday the Wifester picked me up from work and took me on an adventure. We became tourists for the day. We went to Carnton Plantation, in Franklin, TN. It served as the largest field hospital in this area for hundreds of wounded and dying Confederate soldiers. The floors of the mansion are still stained with bloody footprints. Ewwww. The grounds were once covered in blood, as this is the sight of one of the worst battles in the Civil War. It makes me sad each time I'm faced with the fact that I live in an area that is the epicenter of such racism and bigotry. But I believe that it is important to visit this part of our history, to understand and learn from it, so that we can move forward.
So much unnecessary death happened, all because of ignorance. The entire place feels as though the weight of the world presses upon it. At night, you can get a ghost tour. We went during the daylight hours, but that was eerie enough, to think of all the death and suffering that happened there, not only the soldiers on both sides, but the slaves who were being fought over as well. The slave's house was where I had the strongest reaction. It seemed so painful there. I felt as though more pain and more suffering than all the battles of all the wars had occurred right there in that front room. I immediately felt repelled from the room. The bedroom was peaceful and comfortable to look in, but the front room...it was dark and not in an absence of light kind of way.
Wifester kept the camera in her possession, so I was unable to take any photos, but she got many. You can check out the ones she's posted at her flickr page.
It was an eerie, heavy, and somewhat unsettling adventure, at a beautiful mansion on meticulously manicured grounds. I always enjoy being a tourist in my own hometown. Sometimes, though, it's tough.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

A Guest Post From Wifester

Today's Post is from Wifester. It's her first appearance in the blogosphere, so let's all give her a warm welcome. - Fortune Cookies

I’m feeling a little bit dirty right now. No, not in that way. My mouse at work is filthy. For weeks now, it has made the little arrow stutter and miss steps across my screen like Porky Pig being led to a sausage factory. I tried to approach the problem intellectually but after picking up the mouse and shaking it repeatedly and it still didn’t work, I was completely out of ideas. It’s really starting to affect my solitaire game. Luckily, my wife who is so much smarter than I am is always suggesting I “Google” whatever I’m attempting to do for a how-to. For example, “how to install dead bolt locks on our doors” or “how to hire a handyman to install said dead bolt locks because now I have blisters on my hands and too many holes in the GD door for just one freakin’ lock!” Okay, I try Googling “my stupid mouse is driving me crazy, fix it!” and am led to this site . I see my mouse is not only broken but also ancient technology. Maybe that is the cause of its sucking. The site leads me through opening the bottom of the mouse where the ball thingy is, which I do without making it into a homemade jigsaw puzzle, and OH MY GOD it is nasty in there! There is lint, dust clumps, pieces of pretzels (!) and something that may have been Einstein’s missing brain. I have a very hungry mouse apparently. After cleaning the funk out of it and reassembling (without even a blister in sight!), my mouse is working again. Now if I can figure out why my chair is the only chair in the office to have a Pigpen like dirty circle around it on the linoleum, I would be happy.
- Wifester

*this is Fortune Cookies, I just wanted to vouch for the pigpen like dirty circle around Wifester's chair, I've witnessed it firsthand! I mean, what is that about? *

Saturday, July 12, 2008

What Dreams May Come


I've been terribly preoccupied lately. Well, there's school, that's always a big chunk of time, there's some side projects I've been working on, which I wouldn't trade for all the wealth on earth, there's work, ugh, work, work, work...and then of course there's just the day to day life of house work, cooking, keeping a dialouge open with the Wifester, you know, life. I started on a new painting, got some of the base colors down, then abandoned it and haven't returned, simply due to time constraints. I miss painting. I miss lounging around, laxidasically, as though I've not a thing in the world to do. Sometimes I miss being a drug-addicted, wasted youth. There was that aspect of it that allowed me to falter, to swim in apathy and neither I, nor anyone around me, cared to see me get out of the abyss of stupor and depravity that I called home.
Somehow I found my way to clarity and with it came obligation. Obligation to succeed. Obligation to persevere. Obligation to strive. Sometimes I feel as though I strive, to no avail, but then I look back, to where I've come from and realize that my efforts are not in vain. Regardless, when I'm feeling this way, weird things happen. Take for instance my dream the other night.
I had fish bowls. Many, many fish bowls. Full of fish. Tiny tiny fish that I couldn't really tell what species they were, but I just knew they were, in fact, quite expensive, and quite delicate. My mission was to juggle these bowls without killing the poor, unsuspecting fishies. I balanced and juggled those bowls all night long. Twisting and turning to catch them, holding my breath each time one almost hit the floor, and watching in amazement as I grew loooooooong arms, like Elasti-Girl, so as to reach the faltering tower of fish habitats that have been hovering overhead throughout the night.
I awoke so nervous, and anxious, instead of laughing at the sheer silliness of this dream. When I told Wifester about it, she asked me "So what do you feel you are juggling in your life right now?"
HA! School, work, blogs, web sites, school, a house that has constant repairs needed, flower beds that need weeded, art that needs finished, dinner that needs to be cooked. I'm not juggling a thing.
Speaking of dinners that need cooking, I've posted a new recipe and photos over at Fortune Cookies Cooks! It's what we had for dinner tonight. Go check it out!

Friday, July 11, 2008

Thoughts for Tink

I've been a bit behind on my reading this week, so when I stopped by Jay's to see what's up, I saw some terribly sad news. A fellow blogger, and not just any blogger, but Tink, our talented and cheerful hostess of the WWC has suffered a tremendous loss in her family. My heart goes out to her in this sad and trying time. Anyone who reads Tink, knows what a joyful and good hearted person she is, and that she must be devastated by this loss. Please send good wishes and warm thoughts her way.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Promoting P.A. Bees and other hot topics...


So, first things first, Wifester's mom, who is a published author and poet ( P.A. Bees) and all around fabulous gal, has a newly budding blog, and I wanted to be the first to buzz it in your ear! So what are you doing still here? Buzz on over, and check out the Bee's Blog!! But come on back here when you're done ;)

Next. When will people learn to keep guns out of homes with children? A 12 year old girl was shot in the head, apparently by her 11 year old playmate, while playing with a gun that had been tucked between the mattresses of his parent's bed.
I can't even keep my brain wrapped around this topic, it's so sad and so upsetting. People say guns don't kill people, people kill people...Well, I'm pretty sure that had this particular gun not been in the house, this little girl would be home playing today, not laying in the hospital fighting for her life with a bullet hole in her forehead. I say it's people with guns that kill people. Rarely is it either independantly.

Next. I saw photos of myself that Wifester took this weekend, and lets just say I've decided to stop eating for oh about the next 6 months, yeah, that otta do it.
Really, though. I know I can't eliminate all food, but ok, I've done away with fast food, I've cut out colas and tea(except 1 Sprite M-F with lunch while I'm at work) and in lieu of bread, I use tortillias. I rarely have pasta, and usually use the George Foreman Grill, I mean, it is the lean, mean, grilling machine, right? We eat mainly lean, boneless, skinless, chicken breasts or tofu or salmon and steamed veggies. I've even stopped adding salt after it's cooked! No poundage lost. So what gives? What the ever loving hell gives? I'm glad Wifester loves me, fat and all. I sure hope I can find a treadmill soon that both fits my budget and my house's square-footage...

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Why I Hate July 4th


I've always hated the shrill- screeching siren like noise of a firework being launched. It sounds as though the area has come under attack and at any moment insurgents may take hostages. I always get that sense of impending doom when I hear fireworks. Always. I can remember back to the days when we had a Hill's Department Store. They always put on a big (at least it was big to me) fireworks show each 4th of July. My parents would take me there, park the car in the parking lot, and prop themselves up on the hood along side all the other families doing precisely the same thing. But not me. I was always shivering, trembling, knees knocking, palms sweating, locked in sheer panic and terror in the floorboard of the back seat. Occasionally peeking out between parted fingers to see if the coast was cleared yet. Silently praying for the ordeal to be over. Drifting off to my safe place...
Year after year the same torment awaited me on the Fourth of July. And year after year I squeezed myself as low into the floorboard of the car as I could muster so as to be safest from the obnoxiously loud little rockets of death.
Fast forward...
It was July 4th, 1989. I was a teenager, 15 about to turn 16. My friend, Sunny (purely coincidence that my dog and my old high school friend share the same name, really.) called me up saying she'd gotten permission from her sister to drive her new Sunbird. It was sweet, it had a sunroof and a nice stereo, you know, mandatory equipment for any teenage driver. Sunny and I cruised the mall, the lake, visited friends and shopped all day. as the evening waned, we decided to cruise around with the top wide open, to best enjoy the night air, the view of the overhead pyrotechnics, and to air out the cigarette smoke. She and I were alike, neither of us keen on shooting any rockets of death ourselves, both content to view them from afar. I don't remember who we were headed to visit, or pick up, but I do remember the exact spot of the exact street we were on when my "irrational fear" of firecrackers began to make sense and morph into more the "premonition" status. We were in a subdivision full of kids having bottle rocket wars on the sides of the streets. Suddenly, the sound of a million missiles being launched from within the hatchback of Sunny's sister's brand spankin' new Sunbird startled us. Just as Sunny said "What the hell?" and turned the radio down, the assault began with a vengeance. Projectiles were being launched in every direction. Smoke quickly filled the car. We became hysterical and somehow ended up in a ditch. When it was all done and over with, Sunny and I had burns and cuts across our faces, arms, and legs. The car, burned. Smoke billowed from every orifice that Sunbird had to offer. What we found was a gross of bottle rockets, some kids, with great aim I might add, had launched into the sunroof as we passed them by. Knowing this had turned into a very bad scene quite quickly, they all ran in scattered directions, so they were never found to be punished. The police made a report and helped us home. Sunny and I were left with even more reason to hate fireworks and July 4th than the noise and childhood fear we'd carried prior to that night.
To this day, when I hear fireworks, I think of being trapped in my seatbelt, in that car, with bottlerockets exploding everywhere, unable to protect myself, unable to escape, smoke choking me. To this day, I HATE THE FOURTH OF JULY!