No More Empty Fortune Cookies!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

A Guest Post From Wifester

Today's Post is from Wifester. It's her first appearance in the blogosphere, so let's all give her a warm welcome. - Fortune Cookies

I’m feeling a little bit dirty right now. No, not in that way. My mouse at work is filthy. For weeks now, it has made the little arrow stutter and miss steps across my screen like Porky Pig being led to a sausage factory. I tried to approach the problem intellectually but after picking up the mouse and shaking it repeatedly and it still didn’t work, I was completely out of ideas. It’s really starting to affect my solitaire game. Luckily, my wife who is so much smarter than I am is always suggesting I “Google” whatever I’m attempting to do for a how-to. For example, “how to install dead bolt locks on our doors” or “how to hire a handyman to install said dead bolt locks because now I have blisters on my hands and too many holes in the GD door for just one freakin’ lock!” Okay, I try Googling “my stupid mouse is driving me crazy, fix it!” and am led to this site . I see my mouse is not only broken but also ancient technology. Maybe that is the cause of its sucking. The site leads me through opening the bottom of the mouse where the ball thingy is, which I do without making it into a homemade jigsaw puzzle, and OH MY GOD it is nasty in there! There is lint, dust clumps, pieces of pretzels (!) and something that may have been Einstein’s missing brain. I have a very hungry mouse apparently. After cleaning the funk out of it and reassembling (without even a blister in sight!), my mouse is working again. Now if I can figure out why my chair is the only chair in the office to have a Pigpen like dirty circle around it on the linoleum, I would be happy.
- Wifester

*this is Fortune Cookies, I just wanted to vouch for the pigpen like dirty circle around Wifester's chair, I've witnessed it firsthand! I mean, what is that about? *

15 cookies cracked:

Jay said...

This is why I recommend an optical mouse instead of the old fashioned ball mouse. It's really gets nasty in there and cleaning a mouse's balls is a nasty job.

Karen said...

I have notebooks with the built in mouse so I haven't used a mouse in years, but I used to take out the ball and clean it all the time. It did get dusty and gross in there.

Mandy said...

OMG jay is funny

"cleaning a mouse's balls is a nasty job:

Leah J. Utas said...

Our old mouse got quite filthy, too, and I used a toothpick to clean some of it. Didn't take anything apart though.
Disassembling, fun. Reassembling, challenge.

Real Live Lesbian said...

She's obviously being framed. There's no way that the circle of filth is her OWN fault, right?

I used to have a ball mouse like that, too! Wifester's not the only one with dirty mouse balls. Mine were nasty, too!

gary rith said...

Jay!!!! tee hee

tt said...

ya'll crack me up! cleaning mouse balls??? What's on your agenda for the weekend? Looked under the fridge lately??...bet there's a plethera of 'gunk' there for your enjoyment. :)

Reb said...

Good post Wifester! Of course, it means I am old as the hills, but whatever! (Sigh! I know how to do all of the obsolete skills on the home page.)

I love my trackball, no pushing it around, but they are becoming hard to find too.

Fortune Cookies said...

Wifester - I've been thinking, and you know, it is kinda sad that you're married to a Computer Science major and don't know how to clean your mouse balls! hehehe, I said mouse balls...

Wifester said...

Thanks for all the great comments everyone! And big thanks and love to my wife for letting me guest post!

Anonymous said...

Hey lover of Wifester this is Tiff. I wanted to let you know that Henry Rollins will be at TPAC Sept 24th! I thought you would like that info. You have to et wifester to take you!!! Love Ya!!!!!

Tink said...

Yay, wifester's first post! Soon it'll be her own blog! *Crosses fingers*

Chatty said...

Jay is right - cleaning a mouse's balls IS nasty - especially for the person elected to hold his little legs apart while you do it...
But seriously...
Darn - I HAD the answer to cleaning your mouse - but then you went to a site and found it yourself *sigh* I am NOT a handy person, so I was SO proud there for a moment - poised as I was to come to your rescue - because the whole Porky Pig reference was just TOO realistic...I have experienced that sound...
I'm stumped about the ring-around-the-chair problem, though. All I can summon up in what passes for my memory is those hideous "ring around the collar" commercials umpteen years ago. Maybe you should try some Wisk ; )

Manager Mom said...

The environment thanks you...I would have tossed the damn thing instead of the taking apart and the cleaning, and all that...

Anndi said...

Can you go blind while cleaning a mouse's balls?