The other day, at the end of a long day of work, Wifester phoned to say she was on her way. I packed up my belongings, shut down my computer, and headed downstairs to wait for her by the doors. It was cold and rainy, so I didn't want to stand outside or begin walking toward her as I did when the weather was nicer. I had been there a few minutes, when I instinctively reached up to ensure that the clasp of my necklace hadn't made it's way to the front, as it seems to like to do, when I realized that it had in fact come unclasped! I grasped my necklace into a tightly clenched fist and gently removed it from my neck, realizing it was to no avail, the pearl was gone. GONE. My beautiful Christmas present, my prescious.
In a panick, I felt all through my hair, I checked my sweater, I even looked on the floor where I was standing and, just in case I'd been so lucky, the open compartment of my purse. Who knows, maybe my prescious has good aim. Alass, it was no where to be found. I was nearly in tears as I dialed Wifester's number. When she answered, I said as calmly as I could muster, "Honey, I'm going back upstairs, my pearl is missing from my necklace, so when you get here, that's where I'll be."
"I'll be right there." she said with a gruff tone that only partially reflected the frustration I could easily envision on her face.
Meanwhile, I backtracked, retracing all my steps, except the one elevator that I had ridden down would not come available, so I could not get in there to check it. I just knew that my prescious had fallen off in that damned elevator and some grimy, greedy, low-life from the second or third floors had surely snatched it up by now. The mind goes to some dingy places when it's panicked.
I went to my desk, the breakroom, I even checked out the restroom and all around the coffee area. I found George, the mail room guy and asked him if he'd seen it laying around, I mean, he travels the whole building, so he'd come across it if anyone would, right? But no.
I headed back downstairs, to check one more time by the doors I was standing by when I realized it was gone, when the Wifester pulled into the parking lot. She came in to help me look and straight away asked if I had checked in my clothes.
Yes, I said, I did. And I had. I had even felt myself up a bit, just to make sure.
We checked the same path I had already checked, and some extra areas, then the Wifester said, "Well, did you take your sweater off and check?"
Did I strip at work? No. I did not. I felt around, It's not there.
"You need to go in the bathroom right now and take your sweater off." It came out with such sternness and authority, I just did it.
I flipped all through my sweater and nothing, then I thought, you know, I have some mammoth boobs here, let me look one good time in my clevage, now that my sweater is off...
Seems my prescious knows just where to go. Right between two nice pillowy breasts. She is the perfect pearl for me!