Don't Mess With my Puppy!

image from www.montessaurus.ca/

We took Sally to her second Puppy School class on Saturday, and much like the first class, she was the loudest, most boisterous pup there.

On the flip side, she was also the only pup there that already knows sit, lay down, shake and watch me. Granted, this was our second go at this class because we had to restart the classes; We attended her first class and then missed the next two, making Sally a puppy school delinquent right from the start. But, she is also the only pup in class that reliably, vocally signals when she has to go potty. So take that, you other puppy-parents!

We got lots of those looks from the other puppy-parents each time Sally yelped or whined from boredom and I suppose it resonated somewhere deep within my psyche, because that night I had a dream that we were at puppy school, and all the puppy-parents were pointing at Sally and making fun of her. In my dream they were calling her names and laughing...following her around and harassing her. Not that much unlike a certain football player I can remember from my own high school experience: following me around the hallways "mooooing" and making barnyard animal sounds at me, calling me a cow and a big fat pig...It was horrible and I was pissed! I just wanted to protect Miss. Sally Sue from their cruelty. I knew she was smarter than their little cowardly pups, all nestled up in their parent's laps, afraid to set paws on the floor. Not my Sally Sue! She was raring to go and willing to learn whatever the trainer threw at her.

I don't know if my dream is any indication that Sally will be as much trouble for us as I was for my parents (God, I hope not), or if it means that I identified with her scenario, or if I've simply been using Facebook a bit too much lately and finding all these people from high school has resurfaced some memories that I thought were long since buried, but either way, I know that my protective instinct kicked into high gear, and I triple dog dare anybody to stand in the way of my pup and me now!

Little Debbie's Got Nuthin' on ME!

You know those Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies...the ones that you got in your lunch box when you were a kid. The ones that were all chewy and gooey and full of white, fluffy, sweet-creamy goodness.


Yeah! That's the ones.
I effin' love those things. I mean I could probably eat the whole damned box of them if I was left alone with them and a carton of milk. But the thing is, Little Debbie also makes all sorts of peanut butter yummies, which means with the Wifester's peanut/tree nut allergy it's just too dangerous to try to eat these and hope they didn't come into contact with the equipment that also processed the peanut butter bars, or fudge brownies, or any other potentially life threatening delectable.
For a couple of years I have simply reminisced about the good old days of lapping the cream from between those two soft, chewy cookies. Smushing the middle to get even distribution of the white, fluffy heaven throughout each and every last bite...

And then something amazing happened:
My sister in law gave me a Kitchen Aid mixer!
Best. Present. Ever!
Armed with that I've been experimenting with all sorts of goodies.
I have finally mastered a superb pizza dough and have vowed never again to order from any of these lame-ass "pizza" places around here. Sorry Pizza Hut, Papa John's, and Domino's, but that is NOT pizza.
I even made a few loaves of bread, and one of them actually turned out pretty darned good!
But the best, the most amazing thing... The thing that has me blogging instead of studying has been the Oatmeal Cream Pies, Little Debbie style that I whipped up the other day.
I can't keep my hands out of them!

If you have fond memories of Oatmeal Cream Pies, try this recipe, you won't be sorry! I think these are even better, and they don't have that preservative-filled, chemical taste. Oh, there's a few recipes floating around out there, but I did my usual thing and found a few that were good, combined them, tested and tried and here we go:

For the Cookies:

2 sticks butter, softened
3/4 cup brown sugar ( I used light, but I think dark would be good too)
1/2 cup sugar
1/3 cup molasses ( I didn't have molasses, so I used maple syrup)
1 tsp. Vanilla
2 large eggs
1 1/2 cups flour (I even used whole wheat, and they were FABULOUS)
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1 1/2 cups quick oats

For the Cream Filling:

2 tsp. hot water
1/4 tsp. salt
7 oz. marshmallow cream
1/2 cup shortening (hey, I said they were good, not good for you)
1/3 cup powdered sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla


First, heat your oven to 350 degrees. Then, in a large bowl you want to cream your butter, sugars and molasses. Add the vanilla and eggs. Next, add flour, salt, baking soda, and cinnamon mixing well. Add the oats to the mixture. Now you drop the batter by tablespoon fulls onto ungreased cookie sheets. Be sure to give them each plenty of room to expand, otherwise you'll end up with misshapen cookies. They're still good, but not so pretty. Bake these puppies at 350 for about 10 -12 minutes. You want them to still look moist, and be just starting to brown around the edges. Be sure you don't over cook them, or you'll end up with little crispy wafers.
While those cook, dissolve your salt for the cream filling in a bowl with the hot water. Add the rest of the ingredients for the filling and mix until very fluffy.

When your cookies are cool enough to lift from the sheet without breaking, assemble by adding a dab of cream filling on the bottom of one cookie then placing another cookie on top.

Go ahead...go make em right now!

What Would You Do for a Dyson?

"Sad day" I typed into the little messenger window.
"What happened?" The Wifester replied.
"I've done all I know to do and the vacuum cleaner is still not working."
"Oh, you just want me to hurry up and give you that Dyson I promised you!"

Maybe I do dream of my wonderful, beautiful Dyson. It's true. Can you blame me? It's a beauty!
But my old Oreck really has been a trooper, and to be honest, I'd hate to say goodbye to such a wonderful friend.
Friend? You may ask.
Why, yes. I mean, I've dissected that baby to it's core.
Performed surgery on it more times than the Beverly Hills docs have on Joan Rivers. I know by each thud and clunk, by the shape of the plume of smoke that it emits precisely what is lodged and where.
But this time may have been the last time my practiced hands could try to resuscitate the old machine.

So the Wifester comes home from work that day with a newspaper in one hand and a huge, devilish smile on her face. I know right away she's up to no good.
"I'm going to need you to read this article and follow through with EVERYTHING it says before I can buy you a Dyson."
"Oh REAAAALY?" I ask, with suspicion and amusement bypassing my urge to tell her what to do with previously mentioned newspaper and article.
She sees my willingness to play along and presses forward:
"Yep. This is the Nashville Retrospect. It's stories and articles reprinted from years past. The article I want you to read is right here..."
She leans over to me and points to an article dated January 6, 1950, reprinted from the Nashville Banner, entitled The Perfect Wife Will Help Her Husband in Many Ways" by Samuel G and Esther B Kling
The article reads, in part
" How can every wife be an asset to her husband? By doing everything she can to help him in his job or career and by making his home life as comfortable and as pleasant as possible. It is true that some husbands succeed in business or their professional life in spite of their wives. Socrates, for example, would undoubtedly have been a great philosopher no matter whom he married. Indeed, he himself said: "By all means marry. If you get yourself a good wife, you will be happy forever after; and if by chance you get a common scold like my Xanthippe, why then you will become a philosopher."
Abe Lincoln is another shining example of a man who succeeded in spite of an unsympathetic, nagging wife. But these are exceptions to the general rule. "
It goes on to ask
"What are the signs that a wife is an asset?
You're an asset if you are making a serious attempt to keep up with your husband's business or professional interests. You're an asset if you know how to make friends and entertain where these are necessary for your husband's advancement, as in most cases they are... You're an asset if you make certain your man is properly groomed and dressed, that his appearance is always neat and attractive. You're an asset if your own appearance is always up to par so that he isn't uncomfortable or embarrassed when out with you. You're an asset when you are thrifty and economical instead of always trying to keep up with the Jones's... "

Well, you get the drift. It goes on to list things like reading the daily newspaper so that you can keep up your end of a conversation and not embarrass your husband. Serving nurtitious, attractive meals, on time. Bolstering your husband's ego and maintaining a pleasant disposition at all times.

Upon review of the article and seeing the Wifester's smug grin, I responded

"Well, maybe if I had a husband instead of a wife, and lived in 1950, I would do all of those things."

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Goodbye 2009

This year has been a true adventure. I lost a job, I started a small business, I was on the news and two new nephews were born.
I've built several web sites, learned a bit of JavaScript, designed my own logo and sold a few paintings. Hell, we've even adopted a puppy!
All in all it's been a fun learning experience, trying but fun.
I never really know what each new year will hold, but I always have expectations of a better year than the one prior. This year that certainly holds true. In the past, I've withheld from verbalizing any New Year's resolutions out of a sense that somehow that is setting myself up for a failure, or setting an unobtainable goal or otherwise self sabotaging. This year I am going to break tradition and prescribe some clear and concise plans for 2010. My primary goal for the new year is to improve my income and establish myself and my business in a substantially more profitable manner and to continue to move toward a more healthy and active lifestyle.
I want to find more time to paint, although I am hesitant to say that because last year I promised to find more time to blog, yet I actually blogged less than the year prior. I want to spend more time with watercolor and work on my blending technique with oils. I want to be able to paint more abstractly and let go of that need for control of every single detail. Yes, I know I tend to be a control freak. I'm working on that too.
I want to see my marriage continue to flourish in the new year, and that means a dedication to it and a commitment to nurturing that relationship between the Wifester and I. I never want to take for granted the love and adoration that we share.
I want to make sure that I continue to cultivate other relationships in my life, too. Like with my nieces, for example. I am committed to spending more time getting to know them better as people, and not just as those two kids that I sometimes see.
I miss knowing my cousins, too. I alienated myself from everyone for so long that I hardly know them anymore, not that I knew them all that well to begin with.
I am committed to maintaining a fully organic diet both for the Wifester and I and for our pups.
And again, I am determined to spend more time with my blog, and even have plans to revamp it and redesign it.
I know you've heard that before, and I can certainly understand any skepticism, but I feel that after I've completed school this year, I'll have much more time to commit to these things.
So, that's about it, in a nutshell.
What are your plans for the new year?

Christmas Chaos

My head is spinning. It's that pre-Christmas, final exams, too many papers to write, baking holiday goodies and preparing-for-a-trip mania that just creates havoc and chaos in my life.
I don't like havoc and chaos.
I tried to leave them behind years ago, but sometimes they creep back into my life like a nasty mold creeps into the crevasses of an untidy bathroom.
Speaking of untidy bathrooms...there's another thing on my list that has yet to get checked off.
The arrival of our new puppy, Sally Sue, joyous and beautiful as it may be is also a very strenuous and anxiety inducing event that quite frankly, has been more stress than I anticipated.
The Wifester pointed out that as much as the Sunny Dog is her four-legged twinkie-twin, so is Sally-Sue a K9 version of me.
Case in point: Sunny Dog doesn't get too excited about much of anything. Except food. And naps. And she's really just content to be in the house, resting comfortably atop a pile of pillows, preferably on the bed.
Now, substitute "Sunny Dog" with "Wifester" and it all still holds true.
Likewise, Sally Sue is quite boisterous and easily excitable. She's a little loud, definitely an attention seeker, and curious about every little thing. She has to investigate every nook and cranny, sniffing, licking, pawing and biting at any and everything she can get her snout or paws on.
Just like me.
She really is my dog.
I fully believe it is precisely this similarity to my own self in her that drives me absolutely nuts.
Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world, except maybe a fully trained and no longer teething/chewing version of the very same puppy. Since that is simply impossible, I'll take her as is.
I will also take a Valium with her, please. Thank you.

Today I have an especially complex dilemma. I have 10 pages of a 12 page paper remaining as of yet, unwritten. I have an entire 8 page paper that has not a single word. And I have over 40 dozen Sunny Dog Snacks to bake in order to fill the open orders pending for my shop.
I don't know where to begin. I suppose the dog treats need to receive priority, since those are paying customers, but at the same time, I feel this sinking feeling that I am falling further and further behind every minute I don't devote to school.

Oh well, blogging about my woes and stresses isn't going to solve anything, nor is it going to get me any closer to completion of any one of these tasks on my list, other than "catch up on blog."
I guess I better fire up that oven and get to baking.
If anyone feels like swinging by and rolling out some dough with me, gimme a shout.

Grandma Appropriate Art

The Wifester told me her Grandma requested a painting for Christmas.
That's sweet that she wants one, but I'm thinking how do I make sure to get something of quality done and dried before CHRISTMAS? I do my best with oils, but there's no way that'll dry in time...
Before the thought can even finish crossing my mind, The Wifester chimes in with,

"No naked mermaids with big, buxom breasts hanging out OK? It's for Grandma, so think flowers, not Jesus hanging from hypodermic syringes, you got that?!"

Really? Does my darling Wifester really not trust that I know how to make a Grandma appropriate painting? Hurumph.

I guess I better get off of here and into that studio room...Where's my acrylics?