My brain has it's own thought bubble

                  cyst                                   meningioma


My tumor (image on the right) kind of looks like a cartoon thought bubble. I suppose that's apropos, since it resides in my brain. The neuro doc showed it to me the other day, and honestly, I was taken a little bit aback by it. For some reason I thought it would be a teeny-tiny little speck. Pea sized, they had said. Huh. The other doc had shown me a pic, but that one was from a different angle, and didn't show it as clearly as these do. That was an ordeal in itself, seeing this neuro. See, my appointment to see him had been scheduled for this past Friday. That was before I started working. So on Thursday I called to see if I could get the appointment changed, and the next available appointment was not until April, and I was cool with that, but the lady on the phone said, "Well, the doctor really wanted to see you before that. Can you come in today?"
I knew I was scheduled to see him specifically to discuss my meningioma, and her tone truly worried me. I went in that day only to find out that he just wanted to ease my mind. I'll take that. I told him how the scheduling lady had made me anxious, and he once again reassured me that this is not really something to be too concerned with right now, so I'm trying to trust that. Does it make me a dick that I keep thinking about it and worrying that maybe the doctor is wrong? Maybe it IS something to worry about...I don't feel bad. I don't feel like I have a tumor in my brain. Or a cyst, for that matter. But it's a bit of a nagging little echo in the back of my mind, "You have a brain tumor."
Sigh. I suppose all I can do is roll with it and see where this goes as we get there.

Anywhoodle, all of that aside, I got a job!
I am still in training, which will last for 3 weeks, and then I'll officially be a Tier II Technical Support Rep for a software company (I can't really name names publicly, ya know). And I get to work totally from home! They supplied me with the equipment I needed to have access to their systems, and even supplied me with a phone and headset to use. I'm happy that I can once again do a little bit of work and bring in some extra cash-flow. I'll only be part time, and that's perfect for me. My eyes can't keep up with the demands of full time work, especially work that requires so much eyes glued to the monitor time.

So wish me luck in my newest endeavor!

Fortune Cookies Meets Meningioma

I got to see my brain tumor at the doctor's office yesterday.
It was strange looking at those photos of my brain, and seeing that little, oblong blob of tissue sitting where nothing but brain should be sitting. It was a little bit unnerving, but they assured me that this tumor is not cancer, and most likely will be very slow growing.

I have to go back in three months, or sooner if I start having any symptoms. Symptoms to watch for: seizures, headaches, dizziness, vision loss, ear ringing. Great! I already have every single one of those symptoms, but they tell me they are not from this tumor. How can I be so sure of that? Would you be so sure? I wonder if I need to get a second opinion. I think I should. I am not really stressing over it, but I kind of am.

Does that even make sense? I mean, I know, from all that I've read and studied, I know that this tumor is probably nothing to be too concerned about. Most of the time they are benign and very often they never cause any serious problems. But I also know that they can become cancerous, and even when they remain benign, they can have severe, sometimes life threatening effects. How can we be so sure that mine is a friendly tumor? Can you ever be so sure?

I want it out of me. But I don't want to subject my brain to the trauma of surgery, and radiation/chemo scares me.

When I got my retinitis pigmentosa diagnosis, and found out I would lose my sight I thought this, THIS is the challenge of my life.
I was wrong.

Meet my meningioma

It just keeps getting better.
That's a touch of sarcasm, in case you didn't detect it. I know, imagine that, me being sarcastic.
What-whaaaaa?

A meningioma.
That's what they found in my brain. It's a small little tumor of the meninges, which is the tissue that covers the brain. And it has taken up residence in my frontal lobe, which probably makes it sound worse than it hopefully is. So all those times I told myself, "Oh, don't worry, it's all in your head." I was right. It really was all in my head.

Literally. In. My. Head.

It's a small one, thankfully, only 1 cm wide, by 1 cm tall, by 1/2 cm thick. It's at the base of my left frontal lobe. And most likely it is benign. So there's that. I mean, I'd much rather the doctors say "most likely benign" than any of the alternatives. I mean, can I get a witness?!

And there's a cyst which has probably been there since birth, they said. Mr. Cyst is sitting on my right temporal lobe. Which probably explains my seizures. Why previous doctors didn't find this cyst is beyond me. But there it sits on my MRI, pretty as a penny, shouting out, "here I am!"

Oh, brain of mine, you so cray-cray!

So tallying up all the stuff, The Wifester and I, in our infinite wisdom, decided that this previously undiscovered gene mutation that I have is definitely responsible for all of my ailments: vision loss, seizures, migraines, and pfft, whatever else is bothering me on any given day such as allergies, hives, asthma, tummy trouble, you name it. Speaking of naming things, they'll probably want to name some new syndrome after me, I mean, of course they will! Why wouldn't they? Right?
You may read one day about Fortune Cookie's Syndrome, and then you'll know that you heard all about it here first. You'll look so cool and in the know. And you'll be able to say, "Oh, I know Fortune Cookies. The Fortune Cookies." And women will swoon and men will feel jealousy and envy and wish they could boast about such accomplishments in life.
You're welcome.

So, in full disclosure, I don't really have all of the info. on it just yet, other than we'll probably just monitor it and see if it grows before committing to any plan of action. I have to go in and see the neurologist on the 8th of October, and we'll talk about it then. So I'll probably be blogging about it shortly thereafter.

Until then, I'm gonna enjoy doing crazy, erratic things just for the hell of it, then I'll blame it all on my meningioma. Doesn't that sound cute? My meningioma. Kinda like My Pony, only different. I mean, if you gotta have a brain tumor, I guess this is the one to hope for compared to the other options, and then once you do have it you might as well have fun with it, right? I mean, what good's a brain tumor if you can't use it as an excuse for your inappropriate behavior?