No More Empty Fortune Cookies!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Of Utmost Insignificance

Here's 8 random facts you may or may not know about me. 

1.  I have cold feet. Not the toes are icy and always need some socks kind of cold feet, but the second guess any decision I make and feel an overwhelming need to back out and run far, far away kind of cold feet. It's almost debilitating.

2.  I hate, no I loathe egocentric, pompous people. I don't care how much money you make, I don't care what you paid for that house, that car, that ring...I really don't give a flying fuck what you think about anything when everything that comes from your mouth is vile, despicable, virulent garbage. Please, don't spread your disease.

3.  My first love was writing, and then I learned how much fun it is to paint. But long before I ever picked up a paint brush, I was scribbling down little stories and poems, and writing every little fact I could recall about my day in a tiny, little purple diary that my grandmother gave me. I wish I still had that diary, and that consuming need to write. 

4.  I once sang in a talent show. Well, I wouldn't call it singing, more like whispering softly into a microphone, and trying to keep up with the song as the lyrics got further and further away from me. Observers at the show would later describe me and my 6th grade talent show side kick as something of "deer in headlights"...

5.  I never drank coffee until I entered rehab. It's true. I got turned on to the second biggest addiction of my life while kicking the harder stuff. In rehab, there was coffee aplenty, not so much vodka or Xanax... so every time I wanted a pill or a line, or a shot- I poured myself a cup of coffee instead. The warmth soothed me, and the caffeine must have had a calming effect on my withdrawal symptoms, or maybe it was just a situation transference- but I definitely swapped my addiction over to coffee at that point. I don't mind much being addicted to coffee. No one ever sold their heirloom jewelry to buy a quad venti latte. 

6.  I failed my driver's test. Twice. In fact, I never actually passed the test. A few weeks after I failed the second time, I received a letter in the mail from the DMV saying it was time for me to renew my license. I carried it down there, had my picture taken, and was issued a driver's license. I don't know how that happened. Or if it ever should have happened, but I was driving, and I was glad of it. Both failures had to do with my peripheral vision, or lack thereof. I never realized it then, but in retrospect I see now how my side vision was terrible, even at 16 and 17 years old. I'm thankful that I was granted about 10 years of driving before I gave it up at 28 years old. Wow, I can't believe I've been not driving for over 10 years now. Trust me, you are much safer with me off the streets. 

7.  Before the Sunny Dog and Sally Sue, I was a declared and true cat-person. I always loved the cat's independent nature, and liked how when a cat chooses you to love, you truly know they chose you, and no one else. You feel special. Like you passed the test, you did well on the interview and got the job. With dogs, you know they love you, but you also know they would love any random stranger as long as they handed them treats and doled out a few belly rubs. 

8.  I don't have a lot of follow through. I tend to start a million projects, and never complete a single one. I stopped this post at 8 facts, when the original idea was to do 15, because I can't follow through with anything. Even blog posts of the utmost insignificance. I have 5 paintings right now that are at various stages of doneness, none of which are likely ever to be carried through to completion. What can I say? I'm a slacker. 

And that has it, folks. There's my post about the random things that comprise this Fortune Cookie, not that you cared to know, or asked, or are any better for knowing...

1 cookies cracked:

Reb said...

Dogs are great, but, I am still and probably always will be a cat person. I have a needle point project that I started in the 80's around here somewhere. Oh, well.