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Monday, June 4, 2012

Does This Tent Make Me Look Fat?

I'm gonna bitch and moan about something that's really been getting under my skin lately.
I know, what's new?
Well, at least I know I haven't bitched and moaned about this particular topic yet, not here anyways.
My gripe is with fat clothes.

Or more specifically, fat clothes makers.
See, when I look for clothes that are age appropriate, at least a little bit cute, and somewhat affordable I always come up empty handed. I mean, I can find two, but never all three of the criteria.

I just don't understand why plus size clothing needs to come in either hoochie-mama or moo-moo styles, and not much in between.

I love a certain store-who-is-not-to-be-named-but-we-all-know-them's clothes. They are cute and affordable, but then they are so cheaply made that they always seem to fall apart in the wash. Not to mention that they must use the thinnest, see-thoughest materials known to mankind.
I've never had a shirt from that store-that-shall-not-be-named that didn't need a camisole or tank top underneath, which is frustrating when you are trying to dress cool for summer.
Plus, they make everything sleeveless or uber tiny sleeved. When you need plus size clothes, you definitely don't need to be showing off your upper arms.
Just saying.

At the other end of the spectrum, I always find that a certain other store-that-shall-not-be-named tends to have thicker materials, but they make the sleeves so flipping loose and wide that I end up needing to either tailor them or wear a tank or camisole underneath to keep my side-boobs from showing.

I sure don't want my side boobs showing!
And the same size from this store, which fits me perfectly, will look like someone is trying to stuff 20 lbs of potatoes into a 5 lb. sack from the other store.
And don't get me started on how I find something it is lovely, absolutely wonderful in every way, so I go back and grab one of each color they have, only to find out that the black one was obviously four sizes larger than the red which is three sizes smaller than the green...

I mean, the simple solution would be for me to lose some damned weight and not have to worry about fat clothes being inappropriate or too short, or making me look like Maude...But since I've been trying to do just that ever since before I even hit puberty, the chances are pretty slim that I'll ever get down to a size that doesn't need to be concerned about showing upper arms or mid-drifts.


3 cookies cracked:

Reb said...

oh, you've said a mouthful there! And why do they think a fat woman looks good in horizontal stripes? Even skinny models look, well, not exactly fat, but, bad in stripes. And what's up with the synthetic fabrics? Trust me, add a few years and you will realize that hot flashes and polyester do not make for a comfortable fat person. I could go on, double breasted jackets for example...ah well, preaching to the choir and all.

I'm With Stupid said...

There is nothing that sucks worse than trying on clothes. You're right, they never have what looks good in the right size. And, something that has always bugged me, is if I want the less expensive version of the same shirt, they insist on putting a big pocket on it so everyone KNOWS I got the cheaper shirt. So annoying!


Angie Schleicher said...

Reb-synthetic fabrics make my skin crawl, and why, oh why do they make almost all big size blouses look like maternity shirts??
Jay- I HATE when they do that with the big ass pockets! Bastards!