No More Empty Fortune Cookies!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

On meeting Janis Ian

I don't know what, if anything, it means, but I dreamed that I had huge, horrible, disfiguring acne all over my face when I woke up on the morning I was going to meet Janis Ian and get my book signed for the second time. I also dreamed that Wifester introduced me to her by saying, "Janis, this is my wife, Fortune Cookies, she'll do yah!" And I was appalled that Wifester had mentioned that, mostly that it was while I was afflicted with such a horrendous skin condition. What's that mean?

I woke up early Saturday morning, probably jolted awake from the sight of myself in my dream. Eh, I'm an early riser anyways. I had quite a bit of work to do for school, but who can concentrate when one of the best singer/songwriters of all time is just hours away from shaking your hand? How could Wifester possibly lay there snoring? I watched her chest rise and fall, rise and fall, rise, rise, snort, fall....over and over. I turned my attention to the Sunny-dog. She slept more soundly than any one of this pack. Snores rose from her snout like a record player stuck on a deep groove. I tried to close my eyes and go back to sleep, to no avail. It was time to start my day.
The clock read 6:04 am and I was up.

I knew Wifester wanted to sleep longer. Much, much, much longer. So I tippy-toed out of the bedroom, closing the door gently behind me. I made coffee and thought about what needed to be done before embarking upon the journey that would be Saturday, August 23, 2008, THE DAY I MET JANIS IAN.
  1. I had a paper to write for my Intro to I.T. class.
  2. I had another paper to write for my Web Design class.
  3. I had a web site to build for my Web Design class.
  4. I had to make some adjustments to another web site previously built for my Web Design class.
  5. I had a test to take for I.T. class
  6. I had a test to take for the Web Design class
  7. I had some work to do on Wifester's mom's web site.
  8. Desperately needed to do some laundry
  9. Wanted to clean the kitchen
  10. Seriously needed to clean the bathroom
So I looked over my list, as I drank my coffee. You know, with caffeine, comes a sort of clarity. I suppose you can call it clarity, I do. As the haze of slumber lifted from my head I categorically dismissed each and every item on that god forsaken list. Opting, instead, to go outside and water my parched flower beds and simultaneously clean out Wifester's car. You see, one of my recent birthday presents was a gift card with which I purchased a pretty handy little chargeable, cordless hand-held vac. I know, I know. Who buys cleaning supplies with birthday loot? That would be me.*raises hand* Sad, but true. But it is a real necessity for us. And I'll use it frequently. Wifester, although proclaiming herself to be a minimalist, does not seem to practice that concept in her vehicle. And since the Sunny-dog enjoys riding with us as often as possible, ample amounts of Sunny-dog hair has accumulated on the floorboards, seats, and well, everywhere, quite frankly.
I carried out the Armor-All, some paper towels, my epi-shot (don't want to get stung by any bees) and the vac. I strategically placed the flower sprayer at just the perfect angle so as to best moisten the ground throughout the flower bed. I hopped in the car and began cleaning. I vacuumed until it ran out of juice, so I went in and plugged it in to charge, came out, moved the sprayer to another bed, placed it just so, and climbed back into the car, and began the hazmat like clean up effort again.
I realized I didn't have nearly enough cleaning products for my task, so I had to go back inside for reinforcements. Then, when I was ready for the mini-hand vac again, it happened. I woke the Wifester. I suppose the screech... thud, screech...thud that accompanied my every entry and exit to and from the house had done the job, because I heard a grumbling "What's going on out there?!", coming from the bedroom. If I didn't know any better, I'd of been shaking in my Birkenstocks, I'll tell yah. But I know one thing, I know Wifester in the mornings. And I know to greet her grumbles with perkiness and give her good news. Works like a charm, almost without fail. I peeked my head in the door and said as sweetly and gently as I could muster "Nothing, love, just cleaning your car, go back to sleep". By now I had birds floating about my head and woodland creatures following me, I'm pretty sure of it.
That changed her tune, without missing a beat, she smiled and said "Oh! Ok. Don't get stung!" (She always says that when I go outside without her. Isn't that sweet?)

When I finally finished up on the car and the flower beds, I made my way back inside, un-stung by any bees, I'm happy to report. It was still really quite early in the day, so I decided to revisit my list.

  1. write paper
  2. write other paper
  3. make web site
  4. edit web site
  5. test
  6. test
  7. laundry(bleh)
  8. Clean the kitchen ...Now there's one I can handle!
*please note, the crossed out items were not completed items, just what I decided against doing!

I took care of the messy kitchen and proceeded to make Wifester's favorite breakfast, leftover tofu "chicken patties" crumbled up into bite size pieces and wrapped up in a tortilla with cheese. Hey, don't knock it, till you try it.
I took my sweetums breakfast, as it were, in bed, crawled in beside her with my second cup of coffee, and told her all about my dream, and how productive I'd been, and how I couldn't sleep, to which she replied, "Honey, Janis canceled the book signing, I just got the call."
My heart sank for a brief moment, but upon further inspection, I could see the twinkle of mischief in her eye and knew immediately that she was just trying to get a rise out of me.

So finally we made our way down to Green Hills. The parking lot of the library was already packed and we had to circle a few times until someone was actually leaving and we whipped into their spot. Why on earth would anyone leave before Janis Ian spoke is WAY beyond me.

The little room was packed full and there was already standing room only when Wifester and I entered. We backed ourselves against the wall, square in the middle of the room, so as to have a nice view. There was a folding table, the long kind that I usually associate with pot luck dinners and sidewalk sales. And perched upon that table sat Janis Ian in the most magnificent pair of painted, retro jeans I've ever seen. She later told us, Ebay...Janis Ian buys jeans on EBAY! GET OUT!
She opened up by talking about singing Society's Child while on stage in Encino, California, a farming community back in those days. She was all of 14 years old, the country was in the midst of the civil rights movement, and there was Janis, small, petite, 14 year old Janis, singing a song about an interracial relationship. Now, I don't care where you come from, or what you believe, that's some balls, I'll tell you.
She talked about her mother's influence on her, and her mother's Multiple Sclerosis. She talked about the people who influenced her musically, artistically, and how she landed in Nashville and just felt "at home".
When the time came, and she opened up the floor for Q & A, I didn't think I'd have the nerve to ask a thing. I planned to just be my usual self, the perpetual wallflower, absorb and observe. But curiosity got the best of me, and I raised my hand. When called upon, I asked Janis Ian,
"Do you have those times when the flow of creativity just becomes occluded, and if so, how do you overcome it?"
Her answer to me was this ... Janis Ian told me that her mentor once told her that when the creativity seems to ebb away, you must trust in your talent, because the talent is always there. The block occurs usually because there is some emotion or memory that is being triggered that you want to stuff back down and forget. Dig into it. Find it and through the release of it, the creative flow will return. She also said sometimes therapy helps to overcome the creative blocks.
Words I will cherish and remember forever.

Janis was gracious enough to sign my book, for a second time. I told her how when I paint, I listen to her music and she inspires me. I didn't tell her that there is a select very few that I listen to while painting. Janis Ian, Ani Difranco, and Joni Mitchell, and sometimes Cat Stevens but only sometimes.
She paused when I told her that, she looked me right in the eyes, and get this, she said "Wow, now isn't that neat! Thank you!". Her label may be called Rude Girl Pub., but I found her to be nothing if not utterly sweet and kind.

I left there feeling like I was floating on air. Wifester and I headed out to the Wilson County Fair, where there was carnies and fair food and ferris wheels everywhere. Even the excitement of that was a shallow and lackluster comparison to THE DAY I MET JANIS IAN.


Tuesday, August 26, 2008

WWC Sour & Salty

This weekend, after the Janis Ian book signing -meeting extravaganza(more about that later), Wifester and I went to the Wilson County Fair. What a great place to get photos for the WWC! Or at least one would think...Yet again, the Wifester kept custody of the camera while we were at the fair, I did manage to pry it from her grip a few times to get a couple of shots in, but since she's learned a new trick with photoshop, I've yet to see my computer screen, or the shots that I took that evening.
So, yet again, I have a half-assed WWC, and yet again, it's shot with my phone which is a piece of crap. Verizon, if you're paying any attention...take a queue and do something about the Chocolate!I mean, sure your service rocks, I never loose signal, but your phone is a piece of crap! Your prices are absurd and quite honestly, I miss my sweet ass TMobile Dash. I just don't miss it dropping calls all the time, or searching for a network...But that's neither here nor there, and at least I have a phone to take pictures with, since Wifester has gone all shutter-bug on me and become a photo-snob. (I still love you, honey-bear!)
What were we talking about? Oh, that reminds me, yesterday Wifester told me that I am too wordy when I write! Gasp! She laughed at me and said that I divulge too many details that are not necessary or important or interesting or something to that effect, I'm not really sure, by that point, I was tuning her out and all that was running through my head was "My wife hates my writing! Oh my god, MY WIFE HATES MY WRITING! She can't even stand to read my blog, no wonder she likes to dictate what can and can not be said in it, she hates me and my blog and my writing, she probably hates my painting too, and my little clay sculptures...I bet she hates that little clay flower and dragonfly on the mantle right now! MY WIFE HATES ME!"
Then I snapped back into reality and thought, yeah, sometimes I suppose I do get a bit too verbose and drone on and on...Oh wow, am I doing that now? Nah!
What were we talking about again?
Oh yeah, the WWC~ which is brought to us by the windblown and Fay drenched Tink, of Pickled Beef.
Luckily Tink escaped Fay realtively unscathed, and thank god for that because who else would we turn to for sock zombies and trivia games?
This week's WWC words are Sour & Salty...

Drink too much of this, and you'll feel Sour

And then of course there's always and forever :




so that about covers it! Don't forget to go see Tink if you want to play the WWC

The words for next week are:
Moody
and
Bright

Since I'm eternally Bright and sometimes Moody, I think I can whip something up next week fo-sho!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Meeting a Hero

photo from Janis Ian.com
I, much like one of my idols, "learned the truth at seventeen, that love was meant for beauty queens". Her song resonated within my core and touched me at my epicenter. She dared to announce "Ugly duckling girls like me..."and I identified with her agony, her torment, and above all else, her resilience.
In just a little while, I get to meet the brilliant lyricist, Janis Ian. I couldn't be more excited unless Ani Difranco, Joni Mitchell and Henry Rollins were all going to be there at the same time.
I'll fill you in later...Gotta go!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Mini Meme

Gary, over at Potter's Blog, mentioned this one, and I thought it sounded like fun. You write three things about yourself, one is FALSE, you guys try to guess which is false, then write your own three.

1. I once had my left breast signed by Billy Idol

2. I hate folk music.

3. Politics, Sociology, Physics, and Henry Rollins turn me on.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Hooray for Hallmark!


Hallmark, our country's largest greeting card company, in case you didn't know, began printing "Coming Out" cards last year, and is now in the process rolling out same sex wedding cards. Did you catch that? SAME SEX WEDDING CARDS! Kudos to you, Hallmark!
The new cards will feature two tuxedos, overlapping hearts or intertwined flowers, with best wishes inside, and one that says "Two hearts. One promise". Elegant, simple, delightful.
I'll tell you, the vast majority of cards out there when you're shopping for a same sex couple, leave a LOT to be desired. And sure, the "gay book stores" always have their selection, but what about Mom and Dad, or even Grandma who want to send a card, and aren't even aware of such stores?
A spokesman says that the verbiage inside the cards will be vague, not eluding to gender or to "marriage" to make them universally acceptable for marriages, commitment ceremonies, or civil unions, whatever they can legally have, depending on where the happy couple lives.
Personally, I'd like to see Hallmark print a nice "Congratulations on your wedding day" with two brides holding hands on the cover, and one with two grooms. I'd also like to see them expand to the anniversary and Valentine's Day market as well. Each year, as our anniversary approaches, I am forced to shuffle through cards that say "for my wife" but have a picture of a man and a woman, or I find the card that says it just right, but then at the end, says I'm so happy to be your husband...UGH! Sure, if I call a cab, and spend the $80.00 round trip to go downtown to the gay book store, I can find some anniversary and Valentine's Day cards that are gender appropriate, but why do they have to cost $6.00? The same card, if it were male/female and stocked in the corner drug store, would be half the price. Now, I'm not saying Wifester isn't worth a $6.00 card, she is! It's just a matter of principal. Besides, I can think of way better things to spend that cab fair on. Especially now that Hallmark is rolling out some gay friendly cards. Oh, and by the way, American Greetings, Hallmark's biggest competitor, has chosen to stay far away from the same sex card niche. All the more reason for me to always check to see that it says Hallmark on the back!
So what do you say, Hallmark? Anniversary? Valentine's Day? Don't stop short of the goal...I'm available for design ideas if you're running short on talent over there ;)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Shame on you, Secretary Leavitt

I'm not even a breeder, or in need of birth control, but this story got me fuming. It's an injustice, an invasion of a woman's personal choice. It's infuriating. So much so, that I am here, with a skull crushing migraine, writing about it. I can rest, and go back to bed once this is off my chest.


Imagine birth control being considered an abortion. Health insurers denying coverage for the little pill. Rape victims? Denied emergency contraception. Sounds like some third world country with some wacko fundamentalist theocracy, doesn't it? It's not. As far fetched as it sounds, our current administration is trying to quietly redefine "abortion" to include birth control! According to the Houston Chronicle, this could potentially "wipe out dozens of state laws that protect women's reproductive freedom and protect rape victims." The scariest part of it all, it's being pushed as a "rule change" which means it doesn't need congressional approval!

You can contact Secretary Leavitt and tell him how you feel about this absurdity.

Sources:

1. "Redefining abortion; Federal officials considering a rule allowing health care workers to refuse to provide contraceptives," Houston Chronicle, August 10, 2008
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/editorial/5935532.html

2. Letter to Secretary Mike Leavitt from Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and 26 other senators, July 23, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=4042&id=13487-9995024-QFZZZgx&t=7

3. "Redefining abortion; Federal officials considering a rule allowing health care workers to refuse to provide contraceptives," Houston Chronicle editorial, August 10, 2008
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/editorial/5935532.html

4. "Birth control: is administration backing down—or not?" Los Angeles Times blog, August 8, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=4043&id=13487-9995024-QFZZZgx&t=8

5. "HHS Moves to Define Contraception as Abortion," RH Reality Check, July 15, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=4041&id=13487-9995024-QFZZZgx&t=9

6. "White House Considering Contraception Restrictions," Public News Service, August 11, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=4040&id=13487-9995024-QFZZZgx&t=10


Friday, August 15, 2008

Random Friday

Never in my life have I been so happy for the end of the week to make it's appearance. This has been the longest week of this year. Nothing especially taxing or difficult has occurred, in fact, as I told you earlier in the week, I actually had good news from work, in the form of recognition and awards. But now it's the weekend, I only have to work half a day, and I am soooo ready to go spend some of those hard earned rewards!I'm thinking it's time for some new threads! I'll probably go shopping tomorrow.

Today, after work, Wifester and I are meeting up with my friend, the photographer to go shoot some pix. Sigh. I'll be the only one without a camera of her own. I think if I start saving now, I can get Wifester the camera she wants for Christmas. So Wifester, if you're reading this, I hope you're prepared to receive one and only one present this year! ;)

In other weird/random news...have you guys heard about the alleged Bigfoot carcass???!!! Seriouslly! Some guys in Northern GA say they have a Bigfoot carcass in a freezer, and CNN, NY Times, and a few others are running the story. There's photos, video, and what's more, the guys say they found a den of others, still alive who watched them remove this one from the woods...they aren't disclosing the exact location, so as to protect the rest of the creatures, according to the associated press. I don't know about you, but I want to go to North Georgia and see it for myself. Wifester is ready to put our tent in the front yard with a "FREE" sign on it. She has sworn off camping for the rest of our natural lives so I'm hoping they prove this to be a hoax...although wouldn't it be cool if...

Lottery tickets can't be scanned when they've spent too much time crumpled up in your pocket, so cash in your winners ASAP even if it is only two bucks. Otherwise, you'll have a line of angry customers tapping their feet impatiently behind you, while the clerk smooths and scans, smooths and scans, smooths and scans...

That's all I've got for now, what's going on in your world?