No More Empty Fortune Cookies!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Shopping Saved My Life

Those of you who've been reading this blog for a while, and those who know me in real life know that I usually boycott, or at least call myself boycotting that one certain big box retail store. You know the one, blue and white with all the smiley faces. Among many reasons I don't like to support them, some of the top reasons are:
  • the huge disparity between their male and female workers' wages (for same position, same qualifications) as evidenced by law suits and settlements.
  • while they are the largest profiting retailer, they are also the corporation with the largest percentage of employees who require public assistance for housing, food, and other basic needs. They make the most, but pay the least, making you and I support their employees with our taxes.
  • there is never an employee who can answer a question when you need one. even if you seek one out.
  • that creepy smile has to be covering up something!
I could keep going, but you get the idea.
Well, Sunday morning the Wifester and I decided to do a little shopping. Since we needed some hardware to split off the cable line and run it into a newly redone room in the house, and we also needed some groceries and a shower curtain liner as well, we decided that the Super Wal Mart would be the best get in, get out option. I concede from time to time and end up at the retail monster every 6 or 8 months or so with the Wifester, fussing and complaining, kicking and screaming, and constantly placing item after low-cost item in my shopping cart all the while...

On this occasion, we arrived, did our shopping which included grocery shopping, and left just as the after church crowd was invading. If you've ever been to Super Wal Mart, in the South, after church lets out... you know what I mean. If you haven't, do it just once, it's a real carnival! The trick is to get there before church lets out, though, so you can secure your shopping cart. Otherwise, you'll be S.O.L. and left to carry your foreign made, low cost, sweat shop treasures in your arms.
Anywhoodle, we loaded up our car with our loot and started to pull out of the parking lot when Wifester threw the car into park and proclaimed "Holy Shit! I have no brakes!" I heard the omnious sound of the pedal thudding the floorboard without any resistance and still felt the need to ask, "Are you sure?"
"Um, YEAH! Look" thump, thump, thump...
Ut oh. It was apparent that there were absolutely no brakes what-so-ever on this 2000 lb death trap.

We ended up having to call our neighbors to come pick us up so we could bring the groceries home before they spoiled. Thank goodness for good neighbors! We called AAA to tow the car...thank goodness for AAA!!!

"You see! That's just another reason to hate Wal-Mart!" I told Wifester.
But the Wifester was right, in retrospect Wal-Mart may very well have saved our lives!

It seems, according to the mechanic, that Wifester's breakline busted. I'm just relieved that it didn't happen while we were on the highway headed to or from the store. More so that it didn't happen while Wifester was on the Interstate, in rush hour traffic, headed to or from work.

And that, my friends, is how shopping saved my life.

6 cookies cracked:

Jay said...

Unfortunately Wal-Mart is my only option here. The two grocery stores are wayyyyyyyy more expensive and Target and KMart are both a 40 minutes drive to Branson.

Glad the brakes didn't go out on the highway. That would have sucked.

Prohomemaker.Com said...

Oh thank the Lord it happened when it did! What a great story, though.

Jessica said...

OMG!Glad you both are ok!

Camlin said...

Wal-Mart built their superstore in our city within a stone's throw of the local Mennonite farmer's market. If I hadn't been done with them before, I was finished after that...they had the blessing of the local regional council because they gave them a million $$$...but what used to be rural and rustic is now in the shadow of a big blue sign. Pathetic.

Camlin said...

But I am glad you are okay!

Robin said...

I bet it was the sneaky smiley face that slashed the break line! You know how they "slash prices" all over the store. Uh huh. I'm just saying. Evil. Pure evil.