Of Vet Bills and Missing Pieces

I keep looking at adoptable pups on petfinders.com. And RescueMe.org. And every other rescue site I come across.
I'm ready to adopt another dog. The Wifester is ready to adopt a new dog. But the sad truth is that until we finish paying back The Wifester's mom for The Sunny Dog's surgery, we simply can't do it, partly because we just wouldn't feel right taking on that financial responsibility until the other financial responsibility has been relieved, and partly because The Wifester's mom has repeatedly expressed how vehemently she is against it. I know it wouldn't be right, but gosh, there's a hole in my heart that just can't be filled- an ache in my soul that can only be healed by loving and being loved by another fur-baby.
I know no other can replace The Sunny Dog.
I know I will still miss her.
But I also know that my pain will be less and my joy will be more with the feelings that come from rescuing a pup in need. And what better way is there to honor The Sunny Dog's memory than to share some of the love that she so freely shared with us all?
I miss my dog.
And missing her makes me miss my cat, long passed- Max.
I know one day I'll have to say goodbye to Sally, too, and to whoever comes next, but that's all part of the total experience, and I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.

Positively in a Negative Mood

I try to keep a positive attitude. Really, I do. I know I come here to bitch and moan, but that's where I do my bitching and moaning, mostly. I try to keep it out of my real life interactions and out of my present state of mind. I come here, dump off all that negativity, and go back to my world of happiness...most of the time.
The last several weeks have been increasingly difficult for me. I still suffer from the loss of The Sunny Dog. And I still ache for the constant and uncontrollable loss of my sight. And I miss having meaningful, gainful employment. What I do brings in a little cash here and there, but not the steady, sure paycheck I got when I was workin' for tha man.
I miss the financial freedom I once enjoyed. I mean, we were never rich, but we had savings, and spending cash, and the ability to shop on a whim. Those days are gone, and they are gone because I lost that good paying job and tried to go into business for myself. They are gone because The Wifester lost her good paying job and has taken one at half her previous pay while she continues to look for something better. It's been a year and a half now, and she still can't seem to find any better than what she now has. And that also sucks. We hear so much about how the market needs skilled workers. Educated workers. What you don't hear about is how they don't want to pay the skilled, educated workers a fair wage for those skilled jobs. Not just anyone can assist a physician with tests, blood work, assessments, and triage. Not just anyone can administer shots and meds and give correct and accurate instructions to patients on the doctor's behalf. But they want to pay menial labor wages for such skilled, educated, and experienced people as The Wifester.
It's insane.
I guess I'm just in a sour mood today. I have to fill out this stupid dog license renewal for the state of Ohio and let them know that The Sunny Dog is gone. I could have done without the renewal notice in the mail this week. Couldn't the vet have just notified them for us? Shouldn't they? I mean, she was with him in surgery when she passed. He had her collar with the tags. As a common courtesy, if nothing else, the vets should take that upon themselves so we don't have to deal with it like this. It just serves as yet another reminder that such a major and special part of my life is missing. Gone, never to be recovered.
Bleh! I hate this feeling.
I hate talking about this feeling.
I hate hating this feeling.
And I miss my companion. Sunny wasn't just my dog. She was a constant, loyal, loving and sweet friend. She has been by my side 24/7 for the last three years since I've worked from home. I think that makes it harder. I'm glad I was able to spend her last years spending so much time with her, she loved it, but I think that makes her absence all the more difficult on me.
I'll be OK. I know that. I just need to fill out this stupid paperwork for the state and get on about my day.
I guess I just needed to come her and take a load off.

To Drive or Not To Drive

The Wifester and I were talking yesterday about driving and whether or not I missed it, and to what degree did I miss it, and whether or not she would miss it if she could no longer drive. She says she wouldn't miss a thing about driving, and that if she didn't have car-sickness she would never drive again and be absolutely fine with being passenger. But as it is, her car-sickness is lessened significantly by her driving rather than riding. C'est la vie, Wifester. Besides, I guess it's probably a good thing one of us can still drive.

I tend to first think, HELLS YEAH I miss driving. But upon deeper inspection of the idea, I actually find that no, I don't miss all that much about the experience. Sometimes I miss the freedom that being able to drive gave me, but the driving itself? Not so much. I recall that I seemed to be hitting lots of garbage cans, light posts, and other random side-of-the road items. I had way too many to count near death experiences while trying to drive. I would check my mirrors, look over my shoulder, and then begin to merge over on the interstate only to be greeted with honking horns and a few explicit words being flung in my direction accompanied by a middle finger...I nearly sideswiped many a car, truck, bus, semi, you name it. If it was on the road, I have either hit it, run over it, or barely missed hitting it or running it over. I'm honestly quite surprised I survived my driving years. Sure, it was a long, painful adjustment to letting go of driving. And I continued to drive long after I was told not to. And I still sometimes get the idea that yes, yes I could still drive if I wanted to! But honestly, I know I don't see enough to do it safely.
So I just don't.

And living here, where I have such easy access to just about anything I want within walking distance makes it super nice. I can walk to coffee shops, bars, an array of restaurants from fast food to the chicest of the chic vegetarian/vegan digs in the greater Cleveland area. I can walk to drug stores, grocery stores, parks, hair salons, art galleries, and even ice cream shops. That makes giving up the keys so much easier. Of course, I still have to battle my own laziness and tell myself, "You CAN walk down there, you know!"
Eh, just knowing I can walk there if I need to really helps keep that helpless, dependent on others feeling at bay. Even if I do wait for the Wifester to give me a ride when the weather is either too hot, too cold, rainy or snowy.

How about you? Do you have anything that prevents you from driving? Do you miss it, or just the idea of it? And if you are still able to drive, how much do you think you would or would not miss it? How would you adapt to giving up your keys?

Couple Donates Wedding to Save Pets

Yesterday my friend Carol, over at Brown Dog Foundation, emailed me about something fantastic that happened for Brown Dog and I just had to share it. 

I've told you about Brown Dog Foundation before, but in case you missed it or forgot or whatever, let me remind you about this wonderful organization. Brown Dog Foundation is a not for profit that offers assistance to families who are in a temporary financial crisis and who need help providing life-saving treatment or medications for their pet. To date, Brown Dog has provided over $250,000 to save the lives of 204 family pets. 

That said, this beautiful couple, Cynthia Cereceres and Adam Bickell got married on October 13th. 

Instead of bringing wedding gifts, they asked friends and family to donate to Brown Dog Foundation. How wonderful is that? 

Brown Dog is run off of donations from kind and generous people like Cynthia and Adam. Every dollar they receive is paramount in the quest to help save the life of a beloved family pet. Won't you consider helping Brown Dog? Even if you can't afford to donate money or time, you can share this story and help spread the word to others. If you would like to donate to Brown Dog, go to http://www.browndogfoundation.org/# and click on the Donate link at the top of the page. To see other ways you can help Brown Dog, click on "Support Us". 

Brown Dog Foundation is also on Facebook and Twitter and you can catch up with them at their Blog, too. 

Here's the press release on the story: 

LOCAL COUPLE DONATES WEDDING TO SAVE FAMILY PETS

Brentwood/Nashville, Tennessee (October 15, 2012) –  Saturday, October 13^th the marriage of Cynthia Cereceres and Adam Bickell enjoyed the gorgeous setting of Vanderbilt Dyer Observatory.  And, instead of bringing gifts for the happy couple, their 115 friends and family donated generously to Nashville-based charity, Brown Dog Foundation.  Every four hours Brown Dog Foundation receives a request from a family facing the agonizing decision of unnecessarily euthanizing their family pet because they lack the cash or credit line to cover the cost of veterinary care.  This equates to more than 2,400 requests for assistance each year.  While the Foundation continues to assist one family each week, their efforts only scratch the surface of this massive need. 

Since late 2011, the Foundation has received several phone calls from “Brides to Be” offering to request their friends and families donate to the Foundation rather than bring wedding gifts.  “As women choose to get married later in life, the need for traditional wedding gifts is diminished.  Asking friends and family to support a cause near and dear to their heart gives them a way to turn their wedding night memory into a lifetime gift for someone in need,” explains Carol Smock, Founder of Brown Dog Foundation. 

This was exactly the case for Cynthia Cereceres and Adam Bickell of Nashville.  Adam became aware of Brown Dog Foundation in 2009, when a team of runners raised $20,000 for the Foundation by participating in the 30^th Anniversary Dublin Ireland Marathon.  He had just begun dating Cynthia at that time and shared his experience in learning about the Foundation.  Cynthia felt an immediate connection. 

A few years later, the couple became engaged and adopted their first dog together from the Nashville Humane Association, a pug they named Brooklyn.  Brooklyn was named in honor of a trip the couple took to New York City just before finding him.  Very quickly Brooklyn took over their lives…  catering to his every need and desire!  Cynthia and Adam are blessed with the financial stability of providing for all medical needs Brooklyn may experience, but they also know that the “bottom can fall out” for just about anyone unexpectedly. 

Cynthia and Adam contacted Brown Dog Foundation in November to tell them of their desire to dedicate their wedding to the Foundation.  In December, the couple attended the “Holiday Howler” event presented by Show Dog – Universal and featuring up and coming country artist, JT Hodges.  The Foundation’s photographer, Katie Sutherland, had donated a Wedding Photo Package to the event as a silent auction item.  The couple purchased the package, further solidifying their devotion to the organization and its mission.

Over the past six years, Brown Dog Foundation has allocated more than $250,000 (60% of overall revenues) to save the lives of 204 family pets from across the nation.  The total need nationwide exceeds 4 million dollars each year.  The expectation is that the need will grow as the Foundation builds its brand and presence.  Brown Dog Foundation operates solely by donations of the general public. 

Brown Dog Foundation, 501(c)(3) non-profit founded in October, 2006, offers assistance to families in temporary financial crisis an alternative to euthanizing their family pet when life-saving treatment or life-sustaining medication is necessary.  Brown Dog Foundation, Inc. serves the entire country, with a sizable concentration of assistance occurring in Middle and East Tennessee communities.  The organization helps families who are working class or higher income, but have experienced an unexpected catastrophe (job loss, unexpected and major medical bills, etc.) at the same time that their pet requires life-saving treatment or life-sustaining medications.  The goal is to give these families, who don’t qualify for public or government assistance in any other aspect of their lives, the ability to use their limited resources to focus on what they need to do to get their life back on track.  The family pays at least 25% of the cost of the veterinary care or medication needed, the veterinary clinic usually discounts 10-25% and the Foundation pays the balance.   

Founded by Carol A. Smock and six other women, the organization was started from nothing and has grown into a thriving community program.  With an average of 30 volunteers each year, the organization spends its time raising money so when a family needs help, they can respond.  Currently, the Foundation is providing assistance to one family each week.  “All total we’ve helped more than 205 families across the country, 150 of whom live in Tennessee, with the cost of prescription medications, acute and chronic treatments and surgeries– anything that ensures the pet will enjoy a good quality of life.  In each circumstance, we’ve given the family the peace of mind they need to focus on what’s most important in their life – getting through their crisis,” explains Smock.  “We love to help dogs and cats, but the true reward comes when we get a call from the family telling us that their lives and finances are back on track because of the generosity of our donors!” 

The current Board of Directors are Carol A. Smock, Board Chair; Kelly Hunt, Secretary; and Dallon Christensen, Treasurer.  Donations are accepted online or by mailing a check to Brown Dog Foundation, 3715 Brighton Road, Nashville, TN 37205.  For more information, visit the website at www.browndogfoundation.org.

So Much Love

You may or may not already know this, but our precious Sunny Dog passed away this week. We are terribly saddened and totally devastated.

We didn't know she was so sick, see, Sunny was always a lady. She never complained, she never fussed. She was just a go with the flow kind of girl.

We knew she was getting older and slowing down. Her old joints were arthritic, it seemed. We could see the cataracts in her eyes, we knew she was having trouble seeing. But all in all she seemed pretty healthy, age considered. She ate well, drank well, and went potty regularly. Until Monday, that is. On Monday she didn't want to go out to potty when I called her. I really had to coax her out. And she didn't eat much even though it had extra special, yummy bits added in to entice her. And I really realized she wasn't feeling well when she didn't run to the back door with Sally Sue when The Wifester pulled into the driveway after work.
She's just resting up, I thought.
On Wednesday we knew we had to get her to the vet.
The x-ray seemed to show a mass that appeared where her spleen should have been. The danger of a tumor in the spleen is that you will bleed to death from it. With her blood loss, this fit together well and made perfect sense. The vet assured us that he sees spleen tumors in older labs quite frequently. And removes them quite frequently, as well. We were told that 85% of the time they turn out to be benign and the dog lives on for the duration of its life, and bounces back from surgery just fine. 15% of the time it is cancer, and the dogs life is only momentarily saved by the surgery.
Doing nothing at this moment was a death sentence, though. Slowly dying from internal bleeding is horrific, we didn't want to let that happen to her.
We decided we had to give our Sunny the best possible chance to survive. Even if that meant risking surgery.
We spent quite a bit of time with her, there in the vet's office in a private room. The staff was really nice about letting us spend our time with her before she went into surgery. I'm ever so grateful for that time, now.
We doted on her, loved on her, told her what was happening, and asked her to be strong. We reassured her that we would be there for her.
We didn't expect it would be our last moments with her. But it was.
Sunny didn't make it through surgery. Her heart was too weak, she had lost too much blood, and the tumor that appeared to be her spleen was actually all throughout her chest. Her heart, her lungs, and her liver were just encased with it. Sunny passed under anesthesia, and I take some comfort in that. She saved us from having to make that decision later. That was her style. All she ever wanted to do was to make life easier for us.

Sunny brought The Wifester and I together, you know. She really did.
We met online, but at first I didn't respond to the Wifester's requests for chats and emails. She kept requesting, and I kept ignoring them. I saw a profile name of Sunndogg and thought, huh, who is this chick calling herself a dog? Does she mean she's like one of those party chicks who has slept with everyone in town? I really didn't want to deal with that. Then finally she changed her picture to one of her and the Sunny dog. They were standing by a lighthouse with Lake Erie in the background. That's when I saw this happy, sweet face. And a beautiful, sweet dog next to her. They both were smiling so genuinely, and I knew immediately that Sunndogg was full of love. And so was her dog. That is when I responded to her request to chat, and that is when we began getting to know each other.
Sunny was just 5 years old then. The Wifester had adopted her from a shelter when she was only 12 weeks old. They were a bonded pair.
Sunny won my heart from that photo, but she really won me over the very first time I met her. She came right up to me, tail wagging, and sniffed me over, then kissed me. We were buds from that moment on. Sure, we had the obligatory test of wills and boundaries. I remember one evening, early on, when Sunny stole my steak right off my dinner plate!
And another time when she grabbed my sandwich right out of my hand. And that was so uncharacteristic of her, but she was testing me. And probably telling me, "Hey, lady, I've been here a lot longer than you. I'm top dog here."
But we came to an agreement that we both loved her momma and that we could share all the good things in life. With that, Sunny dog cozied right up to me, and to Max, my kitty.
Years later, Sunny comforted me when Max fell ill with cancer, and eventually had to be put down.
I think she knew how hard that was for us to do and this time, she decided she would do the hard part for us.

Sunny inspired us to live our lives with love, peace and acceptance. She exemplified a life of loyalty, love, and peace. Sunny inspired my art, and my business, Sunny Dog Snacks.
Sunny inspired and wooed everyone who ever met her. She taught Sally Sue a few lessons, too.

We are terribly sad to be without our Sunny dog, but we are grateful for the years we had with her. We know that we are better people for having known her, and that we are special because we get to keep remembering her and all the love that she brought to this world.
And so much love that was.
The Wifester said to me last night, "Just think about all of that love that has been released back into the universe."
You can't begin to know how much love that soul carried. No one can, not even us, and we lived with it every day. Sunny is now part of the cosmos, and her love is radiating back down on us all. This world is a better place now, having Sunny's love to spread around. And isn't that exactly what this world needs now, as the song says? Love, sweet love.

Cinnamon Rolls, a How-To

Mmmmmmm! Cinnamon rolls, get in my belly!

I tweeted this picture of this gooey, yummy, cinnamoney goodness the other day, but now I'm gonna tell you how to make a batch for yourself. Because really, don't we all deserve to know how to make these things happen whenever we so choose? 

This recipe yields a huge return, so I like to divide it and let it do double time, half of it becomes biscuits and the other half becomes cinnamon rolls. 

Cast of Characters in this splendidly delicious play:

Rolls/Biscuits

1 (¼-ounce) packet active dry yeast2 tablespoons lukewarm water 5 cups Southern soft-wheat self-rising flour*  ¼ cup sugar1/2 cup brown sugarcinnamon as much or as little as you want
1 stick melted butter, divided into half...mmmmm butter1 teaspoon kosher salt½ teaspoon baking soda1 cup vegetable shortening
2 cups buttermilk


Icing

2 TBSP milk
1 cup powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 of melted butter from previous


* Martha White or Lilly White are the top choices 


First, dissolve the yeast in the warm water in a small cup or dish. Set that aside until it becomes nice and foamy. 
Stir together the flour, salt, baking soda, and white sugar in a large bowl. Cut shortening into the mixture until the pieces are smallish, but not quite all incorporated and mealy. Add the buttermilk to the dissolved yeast. Stir the buttermilk/yeast mixture into the flour mixture just until a dough forms.

At this point, I divide this dough in half. This way you can make biscuits with half and rolls with the other half. It's that easy. Just roll out this half of the dough on a well floured surface to about 1 inch thick, and then cut with a biscuit cutter or a round glass. Gather up the excess dough and repeat. Place these sides touching on a well greased sheet or in a well greased cast iron skillet, and set aside in a warm place to rise for at least 2-3 hours. Once they have risen and doubled in size, brush melted butter over the tops and bake in a preheated oven at 425 for 15 - 20 minutes. These are the closest thing to The Loveless Cafe's biscuits I've ever sunk my teeth into. And if you've ever had The Loveless Cafe's biscuits, you'll be thanking me for this recipe in .2 seconds. 

With the other half of the dough, you have options-you can refrigerate this dough for up to 5 days, and it will actually taste better after being refrigerated a day or two. If you want to carry on now with your cinnamon rolls, by all means, do! 

Roll out the dough on a well floured surface, to about 1/2 inch thick. I try to get it nice and rectangular, but that's just me. Liberally brush one of the two halfs the melted butter over the surface then sprinkle heavily with cinnamon. I really pour it on. I also like to add some nutmeg and a dash or four of allspice and sometimes a bit of ginger. Put what you like. Then dump your brown sugar all over it.  I like to leave clumps of brown sugar, thumb size or smaller. They melt with the butter into such nice, gooey yumminess...
Now drizzle more melted butter over the top of the sugar. I could eat this just as is. But we really want to see the magic happen with these. Now start at one end of your rectangle and roll the dough into a log. Don't worry about being too tight, but don't let it get too crazy loose either. Once it's all rolled up with the cinnamon, butter, sugar mix inside, take a knife and slice this log into 1½ in. thick rolls. Lay these, sides touching in a well greased pie dish or again, in a cast iron skillet. I love baking biscuits and cinnamon rolls in cast iron. I love the almost crunchy outside with the soft, fluffy inside. 
Now drizzle more butter over the tops of these. Can you ever get too much butter? Well, my gallbladder says yes, but I say NO! Hell NO!
Now, set these aside in a warm location to rise for a couple of hours. Once they rise, preheat your oven to 425, and bake these puppies for 15 minutes, or until golden and fluffy. 

Now to make your icing-
Mix 1 cup powdered sugar with the remainder of the melted butter. Add a splash of vanilla and a couple of teaspoons of milk. Add more powdered sugar for thicker icing, add more milk for thinner icing. Adjust it to your desire. 
Drizzle this over the tops of these rolls and enjoy! 

Science vs. Religion

I had a discussion over the weekend with someone who told me they felt that religion and science were the same in that they both utilize a, "I believe it, so it is true" philosophy. I argued that in science, the scientific method is used to empirically test a hypothesis before it can be proclaimed to be fact, proven to be wrong, or determined to be a theory that still requires more testing. That in science, all possible alternative solutions must be exhausted before proclaiming an answer to be truth, whereas in religion, the only proof needed to prove any assertion is simply, "it's in the bible" or it's in whatever religious text that person holds as truth. I was shut down. "No" she insisted, "Science does the same thing." And this argument was presented not by a person who is defending their religious convictions, but by a person who claims to be an atheist, with no religious affiliation whatsoever. A person who I hold dear to my heart and who's intelligence is, in fact, rather high. So the usual explanations of religiosity or lack of ability to understand complexities don't suffice when attempting to understand how this person arrives at this idea of religion and science using the same methods to explain their truths.

In my mind, the truth is that science in fact does require rigorous testing and examination before a theory can be called a fact, and when it is determined that something that was once held to be known as fact is later determined to have a different explanation, science corrects itself and admits the error and states the new evidence that grants proof to a new answer. Religion refuses to acknowledge any possible answer or explanation that is not presented in religious text. In fact, many religions dictate that followers should not seek answers outside of the religious text, that to do so is an affront to the supreme deity of that text's choice, while science begs us to seek all possible answers and to test them over and over again to gain a better, more complete understanding.

Maybe I'm wrong. I'm not a religious scholar, nor am I a scientist. I'm willing to seek alternative theories.
What are your thoughts? Are religion and science intrinsically the same? Why or why not?