Stuff

It took me a really, really long time to realize that stuff is just, well...stuff. Whether you're talking about items, possessions, emotions...doesn't matter, it's all the same. It's just stuff. And the more I try to hold on to that stuff, the less I enjoy it. Letting it go is so much easier, and honestly, less exhausting. At some point I realized that stuff isn't worth what I thought it was after I've ripped it to shreds trying to hang on to it. And I'm so glad to know that now. People tell me all the time to hang on to what's mine, to "never let go of (fill in the blank) or to never forget (insert incident). Maybe those people enjoy the grasping and clinging and the feeling of "It's MINE! All MINE!!" But I don't. I figure if someone is trying to take that from me, they probably need it way more than I do. Let them have it. I mean, not my life. Come on. Let's be real. But mere possessions? Resentments? Meh. That's just stuff. I'd rather replace them with shiny, new things. Someone took my earrings? I guess they really needed them to feel pretty. I did a good deed. Someone took my mate? Good luck with em', I say, because obviously, you're gonna need it. Someone took the credit for my work, my project and went to the boss and got a big bonus for it? Okay, I'm not gonna lie, that one did piss me off enough to lose my really, really good job over it. But eventually I came to the realization that they did what I should have done, when I should have done it. That really was my own bad. So, someone took my sense of self-confidence? That's on me to regain it. They never could have taken it without my consent to begin with.
See what I mean? Stuff is just stuff. Let it go. Stop harboring all that angst and desperation that is needed for holding on. Just. Let. Go.
Sometimes its easier to do than other times. That's when I come here and write about it- like about birthday cards and such. Sometimes it takes me a little longer to remember how much better it feels to just let go. That's okay. I'm not perfect. I let go of trying to be that a long time ago. And you know what? I'm so much happier for it.

I've Been Censored!

In my own home too! I'm not really sure how to feel about this. Here's the situation. As previously mentioned, I paint mermaids. Naked mermaids, usually, so breasts tend to show. I don't consider it to be anything other than what it is. It's not pornography, it's not vile or obscene. Nor is it meant to be. It's just that honestly, if you were half woman, half fish, living in the depths of the sea. Where in the hell would you get any clothing and why would you want it?
Being a mermaid is about being free. Free from the confines of human life. Free from the restrictions of human law. Able to live free from the injustices and atrocities that occur up here, on the surface. It's about surviving and thriving in an environment that mankind couldn't inhabit. It's about growing a tail and learning to swim when cast out to sea, expected to drown. I paint them because they represent everything special to me.

OK, so on to the censorship part... Wifester has an aunt and two cousins coming to visit us this week. She gently said to me the other day, " I know this is a delicate subject, but would it be alright if we took some of the mermaids down, just while Visiting Aunt. and the boys are here? Just the naked ones. You know, boobs and all..." I was flabbergasted. I didn't know how to react. I said

"No, it's not alright, but OK, whatever" but in all actuality, I don't want to take them down. So, I think I've come up with a better solution than the removal of my work:

I can make a statement, and hide the nekkedness from the young eyes all at the same time.

"Fat Mermaid"
oil on canvas
by Angela Schleicher

"Birth of a Mermaid"
by Angela Schleicher
acrylic on canvas

So, after a long discussion with my wife, I found out that her reason for wanting to censor me has less to do with hiding mermaid breasts and more to do with trying to make sure that she was not prematurely exposing children who she barely knew to images that she was unsure how their mother would react to. Keeping the peace with family whom you've had a long going struggle with I can understand, however, when my holy roller, gospel preaching,bible thumping, born again parents came over to visit for the first time to see me in over 6 years, I didn't hide my naked mermaid breasts from them. I didn't even hide my paintings of naked alien women embraced and intertwined in love-making bliss, not my naked butt paintings either. I left it all out there for them to see, this is who I am, this is where I am, take it or leave it. I'm not hiding me from you anymore.
Maybe I'm in a different place in my life. Maybe I care less due to having had such an extended period of sheer absence of my family from my life. I learned that I can survive and stand strong without having to change who I am to conform, to satiate someone else's ideal of what or who I should be.

Come on, give it to me... what do you guys think? Let me have it honestly...Should the paintings go in the closet(no pun intended) until the aunt has left, or should the statement be made?Opinions are respected here, even when they're WRONG! ;)