I'm sad today.
I'm sad because another person has lost their one shot at this life. Everything about that is sad.
I'm sad because our society can't seem to evolve fast enough to bring an end to this viral lack of respect for life.
We kill indiscriminately these days, don't we? We say, "Oh, it's raised to be food. It doesn't have feelings or emotions." We say, "It's kinder to do this than to let it suffer in a cage without a home to go to."
We convince ourselves that because it doesn't have a human voice to speak to us with, or because they haven't conformed to our own personal ideas and concepts of civilized society in this world, or because they look, act, and speak differently than we do that their lives are not as valuable, not as important as our own.
And it's all lies.
So I flip through, past all the discourse and rants and raves. I momentarily glance at all of the whoops and cheers, and I try to keep calm, be nice. I try to distract myself from it, and in doing so I stumble upon the death of yet another young, talented person. That kid I liked from Glee, Cory Monteith (Finn). Immediately I remember reading recently that he had been in rehab for substance abuse issues. My heart sinks. I don't want to jump to any conclusions, but I know addiction. I know substance abuse. I've lived it. I've witnessed its lethal nature first hand. I'm empathetic with him and his family over the situation, and yet I'm grateful that his fate didn't have to be mine. I almost feel guilty for feeling that, but there it is. I made a different choice in my life so many years back, and because of that, and in spite of my own self, I'm here today. I'm here to talk about it. I'm here to look back at it and see it for what it was. And I'm here to say that it can be done. You can learn a new way. I did. If I could, you can. Finn could have. Why does someone like that, with talent and charm and looks fail to find their way, while someone like me, a nobody, get it? What gave me the whatever it was that was needed to make it out of that alive?
I can't wrap my head around all of the thoughts that are flooding me today. When I have days like this, I like to busy myself with meaningful things, like gardening. Tending to plants and helping them to establish themselves and grow is rewarding, and no doubt it has to do with that feeling of propagating life in any of its forms. I guess it's my little way of recycling a bit of that love, that life force energy that I have been fortunate enough to have been given, and given, and given again. I say, share it. Spread it. Nurture it and watch it grow. Because it will grow and spread, and honestly there's never too much of that in this world.