No More Empty Fortune Cookies!
Showing posts with label stop smoking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stop smoking. Show all posts

Monday, March 17, 2008

WWC and How I got the boot from Catholic School

O.K. , so this week's WWC words are "foreign" and "domestic" which was mostly all obtained while I was in one place on Saturday night. Before we get to that, though, I think it's time to elaborate on the story of (insert drum roll here....)

How I came to be a Catholic School Reject

I went to the full on plaid-skirt, saddle oxford shoes, mass every morning, nuns teaching class kind of catholic school. I was one of those kids whose tops of hands were perpetually red and swollen from the ruler slaps. My arms were almost always the essence of cooked spaghetti noodles by the end of the day from being made to stand in a corner holding all of my books in outstretched, crucification style, while silently reciting the Our Father 25 times or a couple dozen Hail Marys. I've always had a penchant for challenging authority, and I suppose catholic school isn't the ideal place for a child with a budding authority defiance disorder. I guess that could be argued, though, because I believe that I actually got quite a bit of successful practice at defying the authority while enrolled at aforementioned catholic school. I was one of two, count us one, two ... kids that dared to steal our parents smokes and give it a try on the daily walk to the local public library down the road after school. . . That's where a lot of us walked to hang out and wait for our parents to get off of work and come pick us up. 7th graders. We were the shit. We got caught stealing root beer from the gas station on the way to that library. Banned from the gas station. Joe Cool and I were quite proud. Everyone else was pissed off and took it upon themselves to remind us daily that stealing is a sin. So is smoking, by the way. We learned that from our goody two-shoes classmates too. None of that got me evicted from the halls of the overtly oppressive, male dominated institution that is catholic school. It was six little words. I still say them today. Sometimes in jest. Sometimes in anger. But usually not quite as naively as they came out that particular day.
scene:
The class is in line for restroom break:
Boys standing silently in single file line to the right.
Girls standing silently in single file line to the left.

Someone (to this day, I don't know who) sneezes...a loud "AAAAHHHCCOOOO"

Me: (instinctively, as I've been trained to) "God Bless You!"

Sister Mary Margret "Silence in the hallway! That's another detention for you, Angie"

now, pay attention here... this is what gets you expelled from catholic school....

Me: "Kiss my ass!" ( with an exaggerated eye roll) that's the first three words...

Sister Mary Margaret "What did you just say to me?"

Me: cleared my throat and then said boldly the final three words that ended my catholic school career "GO TO HELL"


And there you have it. That's my story. Now, I beg you to reconsider sending you child to catholic school.

Ok... now that memory lane has been traveled, lets get to some real fun, the WWC! If you want in on the action, go visit Tink, she'll show yah the ropes.

warning: (my dear had custody of the cherished camera, so again, I was forced to cell phone photo it this week, sorry for the blurry photos! (I need my own damned camera!)

with no further ado, here's my interpretation of "foreign"













for domestic we have...



this is about as domestic as it gets


Macey's favorite beer is brewed in the first brewery in the United States























who was drinking all this wine??


and since I'm half mexican and half german, but born in the USA, I get to go in the category of both domestic and foreign!



so were these...













and were in good company, cuz if you think about it, Lady Liberty is both foreign and domestic too!
Macey took this one when she was being a camera-hog, so I guess I'll forgive her.









That's my mostly drinkable WWC for this week ;) hope you enjoyed it.
Next week's words areT:
Treasure
and
Junk


Stop by Tink's if you want to join the fun!








Saturday, March 1, 2008

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Morning...





My Saturday morning routine is precision. It happens exactly the same each and every Saturday
up to a certain point at which I get to decide which route to take. Even then it's A or B and only A or B. I like it that way. Keeps me out of trouble. Back when I worked Saturdays it was the Sunday morning routine but I called Sundays "my Saturday" since I was also off on Mondays and they were "my Sunday". It really is so nice to be on a Monday - Friday 8-5 schedule, I must say. But lets get back to my routine: Wake up, pee, give the dog her Benadryl, unload the dishwasher, clean the kitchen counter and stove top while my coffee is brewing, make a cup of coffee with yummy creamer and 1 Splenda (or 2 if it's the big ass coffee cup), and I sit at the computer and read blogs , catch up on homework, shop or chat with Tony, my chat buddy from Kansas of I dunno, like 6 years now. When I am appropriately caffeinated I have the two previously mentioned options:
A. I can head back into the kitchen to
clean the microwave, mop the floors , and start some laundry or
B. I can go to my little corner by the window in the dining room and paint, or at least try to.

Later, once my other half has risen from hibernation I can begin to vacuum the house and clean up the bedroom and so goes my Saturday morning routine.
Until this morning...
All was on track for the average Saturday morning, right up to the point of making my coffee. MMM... I just love coffee. I'm really not awake until I've had at least two cups of coffee. My doctor told me a few years ago to cut back on my coffee so I tried blending decaf with my regular, YUUUUUCK! What's the point? I gave up every other drug and addictive substance. I even gave up nicotine, and that was like quitting heroine! I swear, I went to inpatient rehab twice and outpatient once and I had withdrawals and the whole bit and smoking was every bit as tough to stop as the harsh street shit, no kidding! But caffeine, that one I'm keeping, you can't take my caffeine away! Never, NEVER!
Ahem! OK... back to the story of this morning... I suppose it's due to not having any caffeine in my blood yet, therefore I was not awake enough to realize the peril that I faced, but as I sleepily yawned and shook the jumbo container of creamer ...SPLASH! Coffee creamer splatters all over my clean counter tops and stove! Not to mention me! Oops, guess I didn't close the lid on it yesterday. Sigh.