My mom, on the phone with me on my 40th birthday, "I have a card for you, but we've been really busy with a project at church, and I just haven't had the time to get it in the mail."
Yeah. That was a week ago. I guess whatever is going on at church is happening no where near their mailbox. I guess she can't stop at her own mailbox and put a card in it on her way to church because that would take entirely too long, and church needs her assistance STAT. I guess...
I mean, maybe I'm in the wrong here, and it is asking for too much to think you might get a birthday card on (or near) your 40th birthday from the person who gave birth to you. Or from the person who impregnated her, and whom you've called "Dad" your entire life.
I feel like a real dick for letting it bother me as much as it does, but I can't help it. It's not like it was just some crappy, run of the mill birthday, it was the big Four-O. That's kind of a landmark one, isn't it? Maybe not so much or something. I don't know. I mean, what do I expect, we spent years, YEARS apart, with no contact whatsoever. Our re-connection has been patchy at best. Nothing was ever resolved. Maybe they just wanted to be able to say they had contact with me again. Amends? Pffft. "Ignore it and it will go away" seems to still be the mantra by which they live their lives. Maybe I'm being too hard on them. Maybe they really are so busy with church...And maybe, just maybe I'm not supposed to be more important than a church project. And I guess that just hurts my feelings a little bit. Alright, a lot.
On the bright side, The Wifester's family gave me a fantastic birthday weekend. We went to dinner Friday night at a brand spanking new Mod-Mex restaurant here in town, El Carnicero, where I had some of the best mole I have ever had in my life. And I come from good, hearty, Mexican stock! I've had some damned good mole! Then on Saturday night my sister in laws took me out for a girl's night out. Then on Sunday The Wifester's family had a cookout in the park to celebrate. I got some cool new artwork that I had admired at a recent art fest. I got a lot of art supplies, and I got a ton of canning equipment, which I can't wait to start using! And I got a super cute owl statue, a beautiful Frida Kahlo inspired piece of pottery, and some crocks for wearing when working in my garden. I couldn't ask for more! Well, except just that one little thing from my own family...
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We always want from our parents. I think that the church project is just what it was THIS time. They just don't, can't, won't, see what is right there in front of them, and that is your little family. It is their loss. You can just accept what they give and move on, or you can wallow. You will never stop wanting to be important to your parents though. It's human.
For what it's worth, happy birthday :)